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Which one do you do you prefer? why? 1. A company offering you a job with challenging and interesting projects but less vacation days. 2. Another company offering you a job that is not challenging and interesting but has more vacation days v.1

Which one do you do you prefer? why? 1. A company offering you a job with challenging and interesting projects but less vacation days. 2. Another company offering you a job that is not challenging and interesting but has more vacation days v. 1
Throughout history, a job has played a prominent role in all societies. Due to it is paramount importance the job seekers must choose a proper job. A controversial question which is often raised this idea about the job situation and condition. Some people may hold the view that the beneficial job has many trials and needs much time to do it. However, some other take an opposite viewpoint and believe that the adequate career has the simple role and also, have many days as holidays. I personally contend that the proper job has a fewer provocation and has merits holidays. In the following paragraphs, I will delve into the outstanding reasons. The first exquisite factor to be mentioned is that the worker needs holidays to become fresh and spend time with their family. To elaborate on my point, since the people who have routine jobs get less tired than other workers, they can consume beneficial time with their family members. In other words, the people who have excellent vacation have indulged from this situation so that they can supervisor their children in many ways such as doing homework, nutritious, playing, and many other items. Beyond shade of a doubt, they grow their children as they see fit. Furthermore, if the citizenships have time for vacation, they would reduce their stress, and consume time for the trips and friends. A significant example that strikes in my mind is about my own experience. I have a job with a routine order; thus, I do my job without any stress. Furthermore, owing to having much time for holidays, I reduce my stress. In addition, I have not only free time to spend with my family but also free time for go to a journey. Another reason which deserves some words that the employers with simple work and have vacation they have more energy to do their jobs. As matter of fact, inasmuch as they have free time, the worker becomes less tired so that they do their jobs with elevate energy; therefore, the yield of their work are increased. Hence, this person because of this situation, they can find the second career or establish their own jobs. I believe that in this era, people need more money to attain a goal and continuing life. In other words, the economic situation of the country most people cannot effort them require their life with one job. Based on the most recent study by Iran Census Bureau, 45% of the people in my country need more than one jobs to attain their goal. To wrap it up, all the aforementioned reasons lead us to the conclusion that the job with a fewer challenge and have more holidays are better for people. I believe that people with simple work not only can spend their time with family and reduce their stress but also they can establish their own company and it helps them to have an adequate economic situation.
Throughout history, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
has played a prominent role in all societies. Due to it is paramount importance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
seekers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
choose a proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. A controversial question which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
raised this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
and condition.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may hold the view that the beneficial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
trials and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do it.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
take an opposite viewpoint and believe that the adequate career has the simple role and
also
, have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
days as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
. I
personally
contend that the proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
has a fewer provocation and has merits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
. In the following paragraphs, I will delve into the outstanding reasons.

The
first
exquisite factor to
be mentioned
is that the worker
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
to become fresh and spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. To elaborate on my point, since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have routine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
less tired than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
workers, they can consume beneficial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have excellent vacation have indulged from this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they
The word 'supervisor' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
can supervisor
their children in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways such as doing homework, nutritious, playing, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
items. Beyond shade of a doubt, they grow their children as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
fit.
Furthermore
, if the
Possible spelling mistake found.
citizenships have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for vacation, they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
, and consume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for the trips and friends. A significant example that strikes in my mind is about my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience. I have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with a routine order;
thus
, I do my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
without any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
.
Furthermore
, owing to having much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
.
In addition
, I have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for go to a journey.

Another reason which deserves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
words that the employers with simple work and have vacation they have more energy to do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. As matter of fact, inasmuch as they have free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, the worker becomes less tired
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
with elevate energy;
therefore
, the yield of their work
are increased
.
Hence
, this person
because of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
, they can find the second career or establish their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. I believe that in this era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
more money to attain a goal and continuing life. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, the economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
of the country most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot effort them require their life with one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Based on the most recent study by Iran Census Bureau, 45% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in my country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
more than one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
to attain their goal.

To wrap it up, all the aforementioned reasons lead us to the conclusion that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with a fewer challenge and have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
are better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with simple work not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they can establish their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to have an adequate economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
.
23Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
60Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay Which one do you do you prefer? why? 1. A company offering you a job with challenging and interesting projects but less vacation days. 2. Another company offering you a job that is not challenging and interesting but has more vacation days v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
492 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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