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Which of the following would you most like to change to improve your health? The kind of food you eat, the amount of exercise or the level of stress. v.1

Which of the following would you most like to change to improve your health? The kind of food you eat, the amount of exercise or the level of stress. v. 1
It is now common to see people purchase things, for example cell phones and clothes, and only use them for a short period. A number of factors contribute to this throwaway culture and this leads to a range of dire consequences, which will be outlined in the essay below. One main reason for the modern throwaway culture is that society is greatly affected by consumerism that encourages the mass production of short-lived goods and the consumption of those goods. The market is also flooded with cheap, single-use products, making it easier to buy things in large quantities and dispose of them even before they become unusable. Another point to consider here is that the purpose for which we buy and use consumer products has changed over the past decades. For example, we no longer wait until our clothes wear out to make new purchases; instead, our decisions to buy new clothes are heavily influenced by a number of other incentives, be it better appearances or new fashion patterns. This practice inflicts severe damage on the environment. Products constantly ending up in trash bins will cause landfills to become overloaded with massive piles of garbage, only a small proportion of which is disposed of properly to avoid harm to the environment. The rest of the garbage, usually non-recyclable and plastic items, is either buried underground or burnt. This can increase air and land pollution levels, and directly harm the lives of people living in the throwaway society. Furthermore, natural resources that fuel the manufacturing of consumer products can be depleted due to the market’s nonstop demand for those commodities. In conclusion, a throwaway culture which wreaks devastation on our environment and depletes our natural resources is formed largely by modern consumerism.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
common to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
things,
for example
cell phones and clothes, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them for a short period. A number of factors contribute to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
throwaway
culture and this leads to a range of dire consequences, which will
be outlined
in the essay below.

One main reason for the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
throwaway
culture is that society is
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by consumerism that encourages the mass production of short-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and the consumption of those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
. The market is
also
flooded with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
, single-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, making it easier to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things in large quantities and dispose of them even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they become unusable. Another point to consider here is that the purpose for which we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
over the past decades.
For example
, we no longer wait until our clothes wear out to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
;
instead
, our decisions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
new clothes are
heavily
influenced by a number of other incentives, be it better appearances or new fashion patterns.

This practice inflicts severe damage on the environment.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Products
constantly
ending up in trash bins will cause landfills to become overloaded with massive piles of garbage,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
proportion of which
is disposed
of
properly
to avoid harm to the environment. The rest of the garbage,
usually
non-recyclable and plastic items, is either buried underground or burnt. This can increase air and land pollution levels, and
directly
harm the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
throwaway
society.
Furthermore
, natural resources that fuel the manufacturing of consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
can
be depleted
due to the market’s nonstop demand for those commodities.

In conclusion
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
throwaway
culture which wreaks devastation on our environment and depletes our natural resources
is formed
largely
by modern consumerism.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Which of the following would you most like to change to improve your health? The kind of food you eat, the amount of exercise or the level of stress. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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