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The university wants to provide students with more types of entertainment and three choices provided below Which do you prefer and why 1 A theater performance by the student actors 2 A concert provided by professional musician 3 A lecture from a professor v.1

The university wants to provide students with more types of entertainment and three choices provided below Which do you prefer and why 1 A theater performance by the student actors 2 A concert provided by professional musician 3 A lecture from a professor v. 1
Reading, writing, and maths skills have been considered as the critical components of education for a long time. With the inclusion of computers, some people believe that computer skills should be added as the next skill to the above list of literacy skills. I agree with this view as computer skills have become crucial for every walk of life either for individuals or businesses. Computers have revolutionized our daily lives. They have not only made our lives faster, but also convenient. From communicating with our loved ones to visiting them in person has become not only possible, but also economical. For example, people can arrange their travels by submitting visa applications and booking tickets online through logging on to a computer. Without knowing how to use computers one cannot avail such convenience. Therefore, computer skills are essential for people these days. Moreover, besides the ease and convenience provided by computers on an individual level, businesses also rely on computers critically. Banks, hospitals, public institutions or any other industry run its operations by computers. For instance, manufacturing plants are controlled and run by specialized computers. Therefore, these companies employ those individuals who not only hold relevant knowledge and experience, but are also proficient with computers so that they can run their operations effectively. As a result, computer skills are not only crucial for businesses to run their operations, but also have become a necessity for the employability of individuals. In conclusion, while other people’s opinion may vary, I believe that computer skills ought to be included as an important part of education along with other critical literacy skills as these skills have become a necessity for both individuals and businesses.
Reading, writing, and
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
have
been considered
as the critical components of education for a long time. With the inclusion of computers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
as the
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
to the above list of literacy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view as computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
crucial for every walk of life either for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
or businesses.

Computers have revolutionized our daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. They have not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
made our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
faster,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
convenient. From communicating with our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones to visiting them in person has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
possible,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
economical.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can arrange their travels by submitting visa applications and booking tickets online through logging on to a computer. Without knowing how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computers one cannot avail such convenience.
Therefore
, computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
these days.

Moreover
,
besides
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
and convenience provided by computers on an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
level, businesses
also
rely on computers
critically
. Banks, hospitals, public institutions or any other industry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
run
its operations by computers.
For instance
, manufacturing plants
are controlled
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
run
by specialized computers.
Therefore
, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
employ those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
who not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
hold relevant knowledge and experience,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
are
also
proficient with computers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
run
their operations
effectively
.
As a result
, computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
crucial for businesses to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
run
their operations,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a necessity for the employability of individuals.

In conclusion
, while other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
opinion may vary, I believe that computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
ought to
be included
as an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of education along with other critical literacy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
as these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a necessity for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and businesses.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The university wants to provide students with more types of entertainment and three choices provided below Which do you prefer and why 1 A theater performance by the student actors 2 A concert provided by professional musician 3 A lecture from a professor v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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