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whether or not university students must be forced to get history courses regardless to their fields v.2

whether or not university students must be forced to get history courses regardless to their fields v. 2
It goes without any shadowing of that in this sophisticated and overwhelmed world, it is beneficial for human beings to know about history since it gives them a good chance to use previous events and occurrences to apply in their lives. In this regard, there is a heated controversy among people that whether or not university students must be forced to get history courses regardless to their fields. Even though many people are of the opinion that such a requirement for university students is a good idea, but other think otherwise. I, personally, subscribe to the opposite notion, taking history courses should not be obligatory for all students in different fields. Such a university role not only is cost-consuming, but also it gets students away from their field by taking their precious time. To begin with, as we know forming a class in university needs a teacher, a free space, and also some energies like electricity and so on all of which are expensive for universities. In this line of thought, history courses for all students bring universities with extra cost. In other hand, such a knowledge, especially for general people, not people studying history field, can be obtained throughout self-study. There are a lot of related books and resources to learn about; specifically in the modernized world that approximately all individuals have accessibility to the most convenient facility, computer and the internet, to read everything they want. Owing to these facts, not only are not the very courses essential, but also considering them for all students is a big mistake. Universities can use their money on other realms that can provide students with benefits like renovation their libraries, gyms, laboratory equipment and so forth. Secondly, it is crystal clear that each course propels students to spend time on. They have to attend to the class at least one hour in a week, they must do the class' s tasks and so more. In my viewpoint, universities are built for the sake of making students experts not versatile. What Is I mean, they must focus on specific training for each group of students depends on their fields. The time of compulsory history courses can be used to forming an advance course on their field. Such an approach help students to know more about their materials and achieve more knowledge which will surely help them to be a skillful person in their realms. Consequently, their chance to find a proper job in the future will be increased, because all managers are hungry about having knowledgeable employees. In contrast, if students had to get some history courses that is not related to their field of study at all, they would lose some part of their beyond the price time. The time that could be spent to improve their perspective in their prime materials of study, waste on such an unprofitable course. In summary, with all this taken into account, I do believe that it is not a good idea to stipulate taking history courses for every student in universities. It has some disadvantages like wasting money and time for both students and universities. What is more critical is that it prevents students to become adept in their fields.
It goes without any shadowing of that in this sophisticated and overwhelmed world, it is beneficial for human beings to know about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
since it gives them a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
previous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and occurrences to apply in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. In this regard, there is a heated controversy among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be forced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
regardless to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
.
Even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the opinion that such a requirement for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
otherwise
. I,
personally
, subscribe to the opposite notion, taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
should not be obligatory for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
. Such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
role not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
is cost
-consuming,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
away from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
by taking their precious time.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, as we know forming a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
needs a teacher, a free space, and
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
energies like electricity and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on all of which are expensive for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. In this line of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
with extra cost. In other hand, such a knowledge,
especially
for general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
, can
be obtained
throughout self-study. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
related books and resources to learn about;
specifically
in the modernized world that approximately all individuals have accessibility to the most convenient facility, computer and the internet, to read everything they want. Owing to these facts, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
are not the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
essential,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
considering them for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
mistake.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their money on other realms that can provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with benefits like renovation their libraries, gyms, laboratory equipment and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth.

Secondly
, it is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
propels
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
attend to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
at least one hour in a week, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
do the
Possible spelling mistake found.
class&
#039; s tasks and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
more. In my viewpoint,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
are built
for the sake of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
experts not versatile. What
The pronoun 'Is' must be used with "am".
Is
I mean, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
focus on specific training for each group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
depends on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of compulsory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to forming an advance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
. Such an approach
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to know more about their materials and achieve more knowledge which will
surely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to be a skillful person in their realms.
Consequently
, their chance to find a proper job in the future will
be increased
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
all managers are hungry about having knowledgeable employees.
In contrast
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
that is
not related to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
of study at all, they would lose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part of their beyond the price
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that could
be spent
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their perspective in their prime materials of study, waste on such an unprofitable course.

In summary, with all this taken into account, I do believe that it is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to stipulate taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. It has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages like wasting money and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
.
What is more
critical is that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to become adept in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
59Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay whether or not university students must be forced to get history courses regardless to their fields v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
536 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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