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Do you agree or disagree? All university students should take basic science courses regardless of their fields of study. v.39

All university students should take basic science courses regardless of their fields of study. v. 39
Technology has gone a long way now, and it is providing a lot of alternatives that we can choose from that suits our own preferences. Will movie experience on mobile phone replace the one we acquire in cinemas? In this essay we will be discussing both points of view while giving my opinion in the end. First of all, Cinemas started in the early 80's and have become very popular and convenient by people of all ages. Furthermore, the cinema experience is always being enhanced by providing a variety of choices for the users like the 3D and 4DX. Although it may be sometimes expensive, but it is worth it. Moving chairs with small guns spitting water and air installed behind your ears will definitely get you out of your seat and makes you feel more involved with every asset of the film. On the other hand, Some other people prefer watching movies on their tablet or mobile devices. Mobile apps nowadays provides platforms with thousand of movies to choose from. "Netflix" for example provides an excellent service with a cheap subscription. The users can sit on their couches and can play, pause, rewind any movie they like without being interrupted. Accessing any movie while at home has become very easy and preferable by many. In conclusion, choosing to watch a movie in the cinema can enhance the viewing experience, whereas some other people prefer lying on their couch while watching on their phone. In my opinion, i prefer the experience that the cinema provides,
Technology has gone a long way
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, and it is providing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
alternatives that we can choose from that suits our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
preferences. Will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
on mobile phone replace the one we acquire in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
? In this essay we will be discussing both points of view while giving my opinion in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cinemas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
in the early
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "80s".
80's
and have become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular and convenient by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of all ages.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
is always
being enhanced
by providing a variety of choices for the users like the 3D and 4DX. Although it may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
expensive,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is worth it. Moving chairs with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
guns spitting water and air installed behind your ears will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
you out of your seat and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you feel more involved with every asset of the film.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on their tablet or mobile devices. Mobile apps nowadays provides platforms with
Use "a thousand" or use a number before 'thousand'.
thousand
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
to choose from.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Netflix
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
for example
provides an excellent service with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
subscription. The users can sit on their couches and can play, pause, rewind any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
they like without
being interrupted
. Accessing any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
while at home has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy and preferable by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
.

In conclusion
, choosing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
can enhance the viewing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
, whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer lying on their couch while watching on their phone. In my opinion,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
prefer the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
provides,
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay All university students should take basic science courses regardless of their fields of study. v. 39

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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