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Some people think that killing animals for food is cruel, but others claim that the animals are the necessary part of diet. what is you opinion? v.2

Some people think that killing animals for food is cruel, but others claim that the animals are the necessary part of diet. what is you opinion? v. 2
The existence of human beings hinges on various food items. Even though there are different people like carnivorous and herbivorous, the former is seen the more. However, a school of thought believes that animals should not be slaughtered for food. Another section stresses that it is the vital part of human diet. My conviction tends me to go with meat for diet. As meat records a long history as diet, it is very much indispensible in man’s life. What pops up human health is the nutritional value of the food consumed. Being rich in proteins, vitamins, minerals etc, it keeps a man as fit as a fiddle. There are certain terrains like desert where people can only be carnivorous because those terrains cannot have any agricultural yield. That people in the Middle East depend on camel and lamb meat for their existence is the best example in this case. Owing to the exponential rise in human population, the amount of cultivable land is reduced alarmingly. Hence people are left with only the choice of meat for diet. Meat has as much therapeutic use as herbs. In the absence of meat consumption and with the only consumption of vegetables, a human body might become a hospital of many diseases. Even though the intake of vegetables as diet sounds to be logical, the unpredictable weather patterns cannot assure the cultivation throughout the seasons. As animals unlike plants survive in testing conditions, it turns out to be the most dependable food. Even though the slaughtering of animals appears to be bestial, something has to be sacrificed for the survival of humans. As animals are part of natural food chain, if it is not killed for diet, its growing population might destabilize the ecosystem. The factors like its easy availability and long preservability make it the most dependable diet for human beings. Having dwelled on such thoughts, the human survival is not as easy as it seems. In the midst of depleting natural foods, slaughtering animal for diet cannot be held heinous. The cycle of the nature puts human beings on top of its priorities. Hence the consumption of animal meat should be considered a humanly activity not a brutal one
The existence of
human
beings hinges on various
food
items.
Even though
there are
different
people
like carnivorous and herbivorous, the former is
seen
the more.
However
, a school of
thought
believes that
animals
should not
be slaughtered
for
food
. Another section
stresses
that it is the vital part of
human
diet. My conviction tends me to
go with
meat
for diet.

As
meat
records a long history as diet, it is
very
much
indispensible
in
man
’s life. What pops up
human
health is the nutritional value of the
food
consumed. Being rich in proteins, vitamins, minerals etc, it
keeps
a
man
as fit as a fiddle. There are certain terrains like desert where
people
can
only
be carnivorous
because
those terrains cannot have any agricultural yield. That
people
in the Middle East depend on camel and lamb
meat
for their existence is the best example
in this case
. Owing to the exponential rise in
human
population, the amount of cultivable land is
reduced
alarmingly
.
Hence
people
are
left
with
only
the choice of
meat
for diet.

Meat has as much therapeutic
use
as herbs. In the absence of
meat
consumption and with the
only
consumption of vegetables, a
human
body might become a hospital of
many
diseases.
Even though
the intake of vegetables as diet sounds to be logical, the unpredictable weather patterns cannot assure the cultivation throughout the seasons. As
animals
unlike plants survive in testing conditions, it turns out to be the most dependable
food
.
Even though
the slaughtering of
animals
appears to be bestial, something
has to
be sacrificed
for the survival of
humans
. As
animals
are part of natural
food
chain, if it is not killed for diet, its growing population might destabilize the ecosystem. The factors like its easy availability and long
preservability
make
it the most dependable diet for
human
beings.

Having
dwelled
on such thoughts, the
human
survival is not as easy as it seems. In the midst of depleting natural
foods
, slaughtering
animal
for diet cannot
be held
heinous. The cycle of the nature puts
human
beings on top of its priorities.
Hence
the consumption of
animal
meat
should
be considered
a
humanly activity
not a brutal
one
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that killing animals for food is cruel, but others claim that the animals are the necessary part of diet. what is you opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
366 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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