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it is more beneficial ability whether to have only a few numbers of friends over a long period of time or communicate easily and find new friends v.1

it is more beneficial ability whether to have only a few numbers of friends over a long period of time or communicate easily and find new friends v. 1
It goes without any shadowing of doubt that in this hectic life which beat dawn people and crush their souls, every individual need to have friends. Considering the before-mentioned requiring for every person, there is a heated controversy that it is more beneficial ability whether to have only a few numbers of friends over a long period of time or communicate easily and find new friends. I, personally, subscribe to the idea that the ability of making new friends are more beneficial for us. The very skill helps us to feel happy everywhere and every time. In addition, it brings us a priceless opportunity to broaden our perspective. To begin with, it is a common occurring for everyone that sometimes they are in the force of leaving their living-city and go to a new one. It is sometimes a good way for people to see a prosperous life in their future. For instance, the individuals that live in small towns need to migrate to a big city which provide them with an innumerable job conditions or high prestige universities. Considering such an avoidable occurrence as far as people are concerned about thriving life, the people can deal with new situations only if they are able to communicate with new people, especially with different culture, get along with them and make friendship. For instance, I remember the time when I had attended to university in a foreign country. Even though my university has many facilities and was among top universities around the world, I was very sad in the first semester. I used to think that people have to keep their friends as a long-term property, and they do not need to make new friends. Such an opinion was the prime root of my sadness at the beginning of my new university because I was not able to socialize with new individuals. After passing a really depressed time, I tried to adopt new skill by which I eventually became a person who could find new friends. This alteration in my point of view helped me to be success not only in my private life, but also to be a successful person in my education thanks to happiness that had been brought by my new friends. Secondly, in this sophisticated and complicated world where we live, individuals always must improve their viewpoints in order to cope with all aspects of their life. As we know, every new person whom we socialized opens a new window toward the world for us. Friends are more likely to help us to meet such a desire, seeing the world differently, since we spend most of our free time with them. An example can drive this notion home. I used to be an inactive person and often prefer to be motionless. Most of my close friends were like me. When we gathered in a place, we do nothing except watching movies or talking together. The very my characteristic has had numerous negative impacts in my life. For example, I could not get a promotion in my job because I was not an energetic person in my boss' s eyes. I could not find my problem until I familiarize with a new boy who was an artist and athlete. After a while, his life-style brings me a lot of knowledge about my weakness, in fact; he improves my perspective by which I really change my way. I can say with utmost confidence if I had not had ability to communicate with new people and only have relationship with my previous close friends, I would have definitely been a failure person. In summary, with taken all this into account, I do believe that the skill of making new friendship outweigh to the ability of keeping our friendships over a longer period of time. Individuals can thrive their future life and enrich their viewpoint only just they are able to find new friends.
It goes without any shadowing of doubt that in this hectic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
which beat dawn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and crush their souls, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
need to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. Considering the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
-mentioned requiring for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
, there is a heated controversy that it is more beneficial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
whether to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
a few numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
over a long period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
or communicate
easily
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. I,
personally
, subscribe to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are more beneficial for us. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to feel happy everywhere and every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
In addition
, it brings us a priceless opportunity to broaden our perspective.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is a common occurring for everyone that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they are in the force of leaving their living-city and go to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
one. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a prosperous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in their future.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
towns need to migrate to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city which provide them with an innumerable job conditions or high prestige
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. Considering such an avoidable occurrence as far as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are concerned
about thriving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
situations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
if they are able to communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
culture,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
along with them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friendship.
For instance
, I remember the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
when I had attended to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
in a foreign country.
Even though
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
facilities and was among top
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
sad in the
first
semester. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
as a long-term property, and they do not need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. Such an opinion was the prime root of my sadness at the beginning of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I was not able to socialize with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
. After passing a
really
depressed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, I tried to adopt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
by which I
eventually
became a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. This alteration in my point of view
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me to be success not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
in my private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to be a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
in my education thanks to happiness that had
been brought
by my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
friends.

Secondly
, in this sophisticated and complicated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
where we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their viewpoints in order to cope with all aspects of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. As we know, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
whom we socialized opens a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
window toward the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
for us.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Friends
are more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
such a desire, seeing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
differently
, since we spend most of our free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with them. An example can drive this notion home. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be an inactive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
prefer to be motionless. Most of my close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
were like me. When we gathered in a place, we do nothing except watching movies or talking together. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
my characteristic has had numerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, I could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a promotion in my job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I was not an energetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
in my
Possible spelling mistake found.
boss&
#039; s eyes. I could not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
my problem until I familiarize with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
boy who was an artist and athlete. After a while, his life-style brings me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
knowledge about my weakness, in fact; he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
my perspective by which I
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
my way. I can say with utmost confidence if I had not had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
to communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
have relationship with my previous close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, I would have definitely been a failure person.

In summary, with taken all this into account, I do believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
friendship outweigh to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
of keeping our friendships over a longer period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Individuals
can thrive their future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and enrich their viewpoint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
they are able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
81Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay it is more beneficial ability whether to have only a few numbers of friends over a long period of time or communicate easily and find new friends v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
653 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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