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When talking about success, we often think of people who are rich or famous. In your opinion, what are the qualities that characterise a successful person? Why do you think these should be the criteria? v.4

When talking about success, we often think of people who are rich or famous. In your opinion, what are the qualities that characterise a successful person? Why do you think these should be the criteria? v. 4
Throughout the years society has cliche, succeed people must be wealth and at the same time well-known. Nonetheless, the history has many people who were poor and unknown; however, they were successful in their professional area. Therefore, from my perspective, achievement in the space of speciality describes the successful person, and at the same time criteria are inevitable because reveals that helps this person gain success. Firstly, few people can decline the fact that many successful people are rich and famous because, especially presently, it is mostly developers of software or equipment, or the actors. For example, Elon Reeve Musk, who created an electric car, or Jonny Depp. Nevertheless, all countries have many successful entrepreneurs and workers whose name are unknown, and scientists who usually poor. Consequently, achievements characterise successful people such as discoveries, the abilities of the owners in crisis keep companies on the same level, and, even, skills of the workers do work responsibilities in time and without mistakes. Besides, criteria of success have a crucial role since help people throughout a conversation better describe the person because show that powerful features he has. For instance, standards of successful actors in their abilities to change the appearance and behaviour that best suit a role. Furthermore, entire life people want to be similar to more successful ones, thereby standards help them figure out the answer why they do not and make aims how success in a particular area reach. Notwithstanding, without some part of luck and a major part of tenacity person cannot gain success, in my opinion. Thus, criteria of success all the time plays an essential role in a social life. To conclude, I think different areas of work demands various types of person's quality for success.
Throughout the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "years'" or "year's"?
years
society has
'cliche' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "cliché"
cliche
, succeed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be wealth and at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
well-known. Nonetheless, the history has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who were poor and unknown;
however
, they were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
in their professional area.
Therefore
, from my perspective, achievement in the space of
Possible spelling mistake. 'speciality' is British English.
speciality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
, and at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
criteria are inevitable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
reveals that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
gain success.

Firstly
, few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can decline the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are rich and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
especially
presently
, it is
mostly
developers of software or equipment, or the actors.
For example
, Elon Reeve Musk, who created an electric car, or Jonny Depp.
Nevertheless
, all countries have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
entrepreneurs and workers whose name are unknown, and scientists who
usually
poor.
Consequently
, achievements
Possible spelling mistake. 'characterise' is British English.
characterise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
such as discoveries, the abilities of the owners in crisis
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
on the same level, and, even,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of the workers do work responsibilities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and without mistakes.

Besides
, criteria of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
have a crucial role since
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
throughout a conversation better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that powerful features he has.
For instance
, standards of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
actors in their abilities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the appearance and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
that best suit a role.
Furthermore
, entire life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to be similar to more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
ones, thereby standards
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them figure out the answer why they do not and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
aims how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in a particular area reach. Notwithstanding, without
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part of luck and a major part of tenacity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
cannot gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
, in my opinion.
Thus
, criteria of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
plays an essential role in a social life.

To conclude
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
areas of work demands various types of person's quality for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay When talking about success, we often think of people who are rich or famous. In your opinion, what are the qualities that characterise a successful person? Why do you think these should be the criteria? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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