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When studying abroad, some students choose to live with a roommate from his country; others choose a roommate from other countries. Which do you prefer? v.1

When studying abroad, some students choose to live with a roommate from his country; others choose a roommate from other countries. Which do you prefer? v. 1
Travelling to such exotic places has become more of a thrill these days. Nowadays, it's become a fad to explore places that usually people do not visit. With ease of access in the current times Sahara or even the Antarctic can be easily visited. The boon and the bane of visiting such extreme places is going to be discussed in this essay. The biggest plus is discovering about the not so known area. These places are not easily accessed by people, hence will not be crowded. The accomodation, travel and food would be very cheap so as to encourage people to visit them. The adaptability of the tourist would expand enormously. The resistance power would increase tremendously. The knowledge about the wildlife and resources would rise by leaps and bounds. For example, many people have swum in the Antartica sea. This kind of resilience comes after years of practise and strength building. Meanwhile, humans would not prefer visiting these regions due to extreme weather conditions. Survival becomes difficult due to lack of amenities. To illustrate further the harsh climate could affect the health of the individual. One would need extensive training to be able to tackle such situations. Mental and physical strength is required to be able to tackle these conditions. To conclude, visiting these provinces, one should exercise caution. Nevertheless, the territories can be explored only if one is prepared for the worst. To visit or not is left to their own discretion. Inadvertently, we cannot stop the curious and they would explore come what may. On the other hand people will continue being adventurous.
Travelling to such exotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
has become more of a thrill these days. Nowadays, it's become a fad to explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
that
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not visit. With
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of access in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
times Sahara or even the Antarctic can be
easily
visited. The boon and the bane of visiting such extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
is going to
be discussed
in this essay.

The biggest plus is discovering about the not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
known area. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are not
easily
accessed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
hence
will not
be crowded
. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomodation
, travel and food would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to visit them. The adaptability of the tourist would expand
enormously
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
resistance power would increase
tremendously
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
knowledge about the wildlife and resources would rise by leaps and bounds.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have swum in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Antartica
sea. This kind of resilience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
after years of
Possible spelling mistake. 'practise' is British English.
practise
and strength building.

Meanwhile, humans would not prefer visiting these regions due to extreme weather conditions. Survival becomes difficult due to lack of amenities. To illustrate
further
the harsh climate could affect the health of the individual. One would need extensive training to be able to tackle such situations. Mental and physical strength
is required
to be able to tackle these conditions.

To conclude
, visiting these provinces, one should exercise caution.
Nevertheless
, the territories can
be explored
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if one
is prepared
for the worst. To visit or not is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
discretion.
Inadvertently
, we cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
curious and
they would explore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
what may.
On the other hand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will continue being adventurous.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay When studying abroad, some students choose to live with a roommate from his country; others choose a roommate from other countries. Which do you prefer? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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