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some students prefer to live alone others prefer to live with roommate. which one would you prefer? v.1

some students prefer to live alone others prefer to live with roommate. which one would you prefer? v. 1
There has been a recent debate on the best ways to stop crime. While some people opined that offenders should be condemned to death as a way of reducing crimes, other people, including me, believe that there are other methods to deal with this situation. The rationale for each view will be discussed below. Some persons suggest that criminals should be killed as a way of discouraging others from following their footsteps. They think that this is the only way halt the prevalence of crime. For example, where I live in Lagos, law offenders are burnt to death when caught. On the other hand, other individuals, myself included, propose that, rather than killing, there are some other ways to stop crimes in the society. One of such methods is the imprisonment of law offenders. People who have committed an offence against the society should be imprisoned to scare other people from copying them. When I was younger, for example, whenever I behave badly at home, my mother would give examples of imprisoned criminals to scare me from continuing that bad behaviour. Another way to curb the growth of offensive behaviours in the society is to make criminals carry out community service for free. People often like to be rewarded for their work; hence, people are often unhappy when they work for free. This method will make other individuals act carefully to avoid situations that may make them offer unpaid services. In conclusion, while some persons propose death as a deterrent to crimes, I believe that imprisonment of criminals or engaging them in providing free services to humanities are other ways to curb the growth of criminal activities.
There has been a recent debate on the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opined that offenders should
be condemned
to death as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
of reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, including me, believe that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
methods to deal with this situation. The rationale for each view will
be discussed
below.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
persons suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
should
be killed
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
of discouraging others from following their footsteps. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
halt the prevalence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
For example
, where I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in Lagos, law offenders
are burnt
to death when caught.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
individuals, myself included, propose that,
rather
than killing, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in the society. One of such methods is the imprisonment of law offenders.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who have committed an
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
against the society should
be imprisoned
to scare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from copying them. When I was younger,
for example
, whenever I behave
badly
at home, my mother would give examples of imprisoned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
to scare me from continuing that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to curb the growth of offensive
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
in the society is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
carry out community service for free.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
like to
be rewarded
for their work;
hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
unhappy when they work for free. This method will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
individuals act
carefully
to avoid situations that may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them offer unpaid services.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
persons propose death as a deterrent to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, I believe that imprisonment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
or engaging them in providing free services to humanities are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to curb the growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activities.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay some students prefer to live alone others prefer to live with roommate. which one would you prefer? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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