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Studying abroad can be highly motivational for students and also inspire their dreams. However, whilst studying abroad can have a number of positive effects on students, there are also many difficulties that they may meet along the way. With this in mind, it is more advantageous to study at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer. v.1

Studying abroad can be highly motivational for students and also inspire their dreams. However, whilst studying abroad can have a number of positive effects on students, there are also many difficulties that they may meet along the way. With this in mind, it is more advantageous to study at home. with this statement? v. 1
These days, studying abroad becomes the new trend in education. While some people argue that studying in foreign countries can have a number of negative effects on students, I personally claim that studying in other countries can be highly motivational for students and also inspire their dreams. On the one hand, it is undeniable that there are a number of disadvantages to learning in foreign countries. First of all, students in abroad must deal with their financial problems every month. This can have a lot of influences on their learning. Because overseas students must do a great deal of part-time jobs to supply for their life, they may not focus on learning in their universities. As a result, they cannot catch up with their classmates and may be expelled from school. Moreover, learners must be suffering from culture shock. Due to cultural diversity, it is difficult for students to make friends and familiar with the life in other countries. However, I believe that the advantages of learning in foreign countries overweight the disadvantages. Foremost, students can be independent of addressing their problems on the basis life. For example, in the past, students have a tendency to living dependent on parents. If they had problems, their parents would deal with for them. However, when they become overseas students, they must learn the way to overcome the difficulty by themselves. As a consequence, they can learn the way to become more independent. Another critical point is that learning systems and social welfares in foreign countries are better than domestic systems. It is clear that when students study abroad, they can update the latest equipment which is supplied for learning and practicing. Moreover, medical equipment in Western countries is one of the most state-of-the-art systems in the world. Thanks to that, learners may cure a lot of diseases which cannot be treated in their countries. In conclusion, although some people point out that studying in foreign does more harm than goods, I believe that it is better to study abroad
These days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
becomes the new trend in education. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can have a number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, I
personally
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can be
highly
motivational for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
also
inspire their dreams.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that there are a number of disadvantages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
deal with their financial problems every month. This can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
influences on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
do a great deal of part-time jobs to supply for their life, they may not focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
in their universities.
As a result
, they cannot catch up with their classmates and may
be expelled
from school.
Moreover
, learners
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be suffering from culture shock. Due to cultural diversity, it is difficult for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends and familiar with the life in other countries.

However
, I believe that the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
overweight the disadvantages. Foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can be independent of addressing their problems on the basis life.
For example
, in the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have a tendency to living dependent on parents. If they had problems, their parents would deal with for them.
However
, when they become overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
learn the way to overcome the difficulty by themselves. As a consequence, they can learn the way to become more independent.

Another critical point is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
systems and social
Possible spelling mistake found.
welfares
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are better than domestic systems. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
, they can update the latest equipment which
is supplied
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
and practicing.
Moreover
, medical equipment in Western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is one of the most state-of-the-art systems in the world. Thanks to that, learners may cure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
diseases which cannot
be treated
in their countries.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
point out that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
does more harm than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, I believe that it is better to study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Studying abroad can be highly motivational for students and also inspire their dreams. However, whilst studying abroad can have a number of positive effects on students, there are also many difficulties that they may meet along the way. With this in mind, it is more advantageous to study at home. with this statement? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
336 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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