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When people move to another country some of them decide to follow the customs of the new country Others prefer to keep their own customs Compare these two choices Which one do you prefer v.3

When people move to another country some of them decide to follow the customs of the new country Others prefer to keep their own customs Compare these two choices Which one do you prefer v. 3
In this rocketing world, people can easily adapt to any cultures easily, while others are believing that it is very difficult to overcome from the old traditions. I strongly believe that we can follow their cultures when we move to the different county. In this essay, I will give different reasons why people decide to follow the customs of the new country or to keep their own customs. If one is from the country with strong and old traditions, I think it is very difficult to follow the custom and try to reject their own. For example, In Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, people can easily get non-vegetarian food but to get vegetarian is like Cost an arm and leg. In this scenario who are all pure vegetarian, they are very strenuous to survey over there. That is why some people from the same country try to live together and to create their own community where the old traditions are kept. They can not break the customs that were created by their ancestors. From the other side, accepting the new traditions will help one to adapt and make new friends with residents. if one is from the country with traditions similar to ones of the new country it will be easy for him to adopt and to follow the customs of the new place. He will not feel much difference. Probably, the most difficult part of his relocation will be to accustom to the new climate. To recapitulate this, I think that people of the new country are friendlier when they see that foreigner follows their customs. I believe that traditions of every country deserve respect, especially, when one lives there. In summary, I think that every country has its own beauty and if one wants to find out more about it, he will love it.
In this rocketing world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
adapt to any cultures
easily
, while others
The verb 'believing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are believing
that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to overcome from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
. I
strongly
believe that we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
their cultures when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
county. In this essay, I will give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
decide to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
the customs of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
or to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
customs.

If one is from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with strong and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
custom
and try to reject their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
For example
, In Kingdom of Saudi Arabia,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
non-vegetarian food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
vegetarian is like Cost an arm and leg. In this scenario who are all pure vegetarian, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
strenuous to survey over there.
That is
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
together and to create their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
community where the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
. They can not break the customs that
were created
by their ancestors.

From the other side, accepting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
one to adapt and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
friends with residents.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
one is from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
similar to ones of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
it will be easy for him to adopt and to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
the customs of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
place. He will not feel much difference.
Probably
, the most difficult part of his relocation will be to accustom to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
climate.

To recapitulate this, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
are friendlier when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that foreigner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follows
their customs. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
of every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
deserve respect,
especially
, when one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
there. In summary, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
beauty and if one wants to find out more about it, he will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
it.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay When people move to another country some of them decide to follow the customs of the new country Others prefer to keep their own customs Compare these two choices Which one do you prefer v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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