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when looking for information for a research projrct, soome students prefer to get their information mainly from the internet. others prefer to mainly use printed materials such as books v.1

when looking for information for a research projrct, soome students prefer to get their information mainly from the internet. others prefer to mainly use printed materials such as books v. 1
Mobilizing from one place to another is becoming a trend for many people these days. This essay will discuss the cause of this phenomenon, and it will also explain the impacts of it in detail. Having to mobilize from one area to another is aimed almost exclusively by many people to have a better career opportunity in their lives. As we may be aware, certain areas, especially in the urban cities, are more developed and it is normally occupied by many companies. Living in such places may increase people’s chance to be employed, especially by a well-known company, which would enable them to climb a career ladder faster, and as a result, they will have a better career prospect in their lives. This can be seen by a growing number of workers, who tend to live in a bigger city as there are plenty of jobs available. It is for this reason, many people like to be mobile in order to pursue their career path. Moving from one place to another is not without its consequences, however. Some people may find it extremely hard to adapt to a new place due to the culture differences. Sometimes, they are not used to the local customs, which can be differ from their own. In Japan, for instance, people tend to work longer hours than ever before, and it may greatly impact the people, who just moved into the country, as they are not be able to stand with the Japanese's working culture. Furthermore, the fact that one should be separated from their family for a long period of time is another impact of the mobilization. These people often feel homesick as they are being apart from their loved ones and can only meet them on a certain occasion only. In conclusion, while being mobile is often opted by some people due to the career-related reasons, the consequences can be detrimental as they have to adjust to the new environment and the fact that they should be apart from their families.
Mobilizing from one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to another is becoming a trend for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
these days. This essay will discuss the cause of this phenomenon, and it will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the impacts of it in detail.

Having to mobilize from one area to another
is aimed
almost exclusively by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
opportunity in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. As we may be aware, certain areas,
especially
in the urban cities, are more developed and it is
normally
occupied by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. Living in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
may increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
chance to
be employed
,
especially
by a well-known
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, which would enable them to climb a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
ladder faster, and
as a result
, they will have a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
prospect in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. This can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
by a growing number of workers, who tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a bigger city as there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of jobs available. It is
for this reason
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to be mobile in order to pursue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
path.

Moving from one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to another is not without its consequences,
however
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may find it
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to adapt to a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
due to the culture differences.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, they are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to the local customs, which can be
Consider using the past participle "differed"?
differ
from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. In Japan,
for instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to work longer hours than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, and it may
greatly
impact the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
into the country, as they are not
Consider using a past participle here: "been".
be
able to stand with the Japanese's working culture.
Furthermore
, the fact that one should
be separated
from their family for a long period of time is another impact of the mobilization. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
feel homesick as they are being apart from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
them on a certain occasion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.

In conclusion
, while being mobile is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
opted by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
due to the career-related reasons, the consequences can be detrimental as they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
adjust to the new environment and the fact that they should be apart from their families.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay when looking for information for a research projrct, soome students prefer to get their information mainly from the internet. others prefer to mainly use printed materials such as books v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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