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New household appliances have resulted in more free time for women and has enabled them to both work and run a home with dependent children. What are the advantages for a family when the mother works? Do you think the disadvantages outweigh the advantages? v.1

New household appliances have resulted in more free time for women and has enabled them to both work and run a home with dependent children. What are the advantages for a family when the mother works? Do you think the disadvantages outweigh the advantages? v. 1
It is often argued that school children should go to single sex schools, while others would say that males and females get the most out of integrated schools. This essay will argue that despite there being some social benefits to females and males going to the same school, the academic advantages of educating them separately to make it more worthwhile. Many feel that mixing both sexes at school helps to develop social skills and makes people less awkward around the opposite sex later in life. This is especially true for males, who often find it difficult to approach and talk to women socially, if they don’t get used to it first in the classroom. For example, the Sunday Times recently reported that men who did not have regular social contact with girls when they were growing up are 68% more likely to suffer from anxiety when in the company of females. Despite the argument above, it is difficult to argue with the fact that single-sex schools consistently top examination league tables. In nearly every area of the United Kingdom, the top schools only allow boys or girls to attend and this may lead to higher grades because students can focus exclusively on their studies. Personally, I went to a school for both boys and girls and found that I had to deal with many more distractions compared to friends who attended the local boys-only college. In conclusion, integrating the sexes can prevent social awkwardness later in life and make pupils more sociable in the company of other genders, but a school’s primary purpose is to educate and those with just one sex or the other outperform those that allow both.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
children should go to single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, while others would say that males and females
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the most out of integrated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. This essay will argue that despite there being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
benefits to females and males going to the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, the academic advantages of educating them
separately
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it more worthwhile.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
feel that mixing both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sexes
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
less awkward around the opposite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
later in life. This is
especially
true for males, who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
find it difficult to approach and talk to women
socially
, if they don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to it
first
in the classroom.
For example
,
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
the Sunday Times
recently reported that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
who did not have regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
contact with girls when they were growing up are 68% more likely to suffer from anxiety when in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
of females.

Despite the argument above, it is difficult to argue with the fact that single-sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
consistently
top examination league tables. In
nearly
every area of the United Kingdom, the top
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
boys or girls to attend and this may lead to higher grades
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
students can focus exclusively on their studies.
Personally
, I went to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for both boys and girls and found that I had to deal with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more distractions compared to friends who attended the local boys-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
college.

In conclusion
, integrating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sexes
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
awkwardness later in life and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
pupils more sociable in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
of other genders,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school’s
primary purpose is to educate and those with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
or the other outperform those that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
both.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay New household appliances have resulted in more free time for women and has enabled them to both work and run a home with dependent children. What are the advantages for a family when the mother works? Do you think the disadvantages outweigh the advantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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