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When international media (including movies, fashion shows, advertisements and other TV programmes) convey the same messages to the global audience, people argue that the expansion of international media has negative impacts on cultural diversity. What is your opinion? v.3

When international media (including movies, fashion shows, advertisements and other TV programmes) convey the same messages to the global audience, people argue that the expansion of international media has negative impacts on cultural diversity. What is your opinion? v. 3
Nowadays, as international media companies expand across the world, the growing popularity and uniformity of some media programmes (TV shows, movies, fashion shows) is resulting in worldwide concern. Many people have strong view toward this trend. To an extend, i agree globalisation through media has many advantages. However, it inevitably poses a threat to cultural diversity. On the one hand, the domination of international media is a good carrier of knowledge and information. It brings people opportunity to get a deeper comprehension of cultures and diverse lifestyle. They can exchange languages and habits of different cultures, and easily understand each other. As a result, it helps people from all over the world be able to get closer, reducing the prejudice among nations. Besides, mass media also helps in countries development, whenever a country mimics successful plans of other countries, like the United European organisation where the countries involved in this organisation exchange news of flourishment and high achievements. On the other hand, that international media deliver the same messages to civilians has potential to thwart cultural diversity. As a matter of fact, people are having tendency to imitate the lifestyles of other cultures. For example, young people, especially teenagers wear the dresses and customs of the famous stars appearing in the programmes. This trend makes people seemingly become the same and ultimately lose the cultural erosion of a country. In addition to that, international media is owned by giant corporations which control large sectors of the media market and force national media companies go to the wall. This, thus, causes a proportional reduction in the variety of programmes broadcasted, degrading the country’s economy. In conclusion, media has double-edged impacts on the society (while it profoundly enhances people’s knowledge, its detrimental impacts on the community are thought-provoking). From my perspective, people should not go in deep with it but entertain it within the limit to avoid its drawbacks.
Nowadays, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
expand across the world, the growing popularity and uniformity of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
(TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, movies, fashion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
) is resulting in worldwide concern.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have strong view toward this trend. To
After 'an', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'extend' is correct. If 'extend' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
an extend
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages.
However
, it
inevitably
poses a threat to cultural diversity.

On the one hand, the domination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
carrier of knowledge and information. It brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a deeper comprehension of cultures and diverse lifestyle. They can exchange languages and habits of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures, and
easily
understand each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
As a result
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from all over the world be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
closer, reducing the prejudice among nations.
Besides
, mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
development, whenever a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
mimics successful plans of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, like the United European
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
involved in this
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
exchange news of
Possible spelling mistake found.
flourishment
and high achievements.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
deliver the same messages to civilians has potential to thwart cultural diversity. As a matter of fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are having tendency to imitate the lifestyles of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cultures.
For example
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
wear the dresses and customs of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
stars appearing in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
. This trend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
seemingly
become the same and
ultimately
lose the cultural erosion of a
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country
.
In addition
to that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
by giant corporations which control large sectors of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
market and force national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
go to the wall. This,
thus
, causes a proportional reduction in the variety of
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
broadcasted, degrading the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
economy.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has double-edged impacts on the society (while it
profoundly
enhances
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
knowledge, its detrimental impacts on the community are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
-provoking). From my perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not go in deep with it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
entertain it within the limit to avoid its drawbacks.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay When international media (including movies, fashion shows, advertisements and other TV programmes) convey the same messages to the global audience, people argue that the expansion of international media has negative impacts on cultural diversity. What is your opinion? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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