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When international media (including movies, fashion shows, advertisements and other TV programmes) convey the same messages to the global audience, people argue that the expansion of international media has negative impacts on cultural diversity. What is your opinion? v.1

When international media (including movies, fashion shows, advertisements and other TV programmes) convey the same messages to the global audience, people argue that the expansion of international media has negative impacts on cultural diversity. What is your opinion? v. 1
Recently, huge international media is showing a growth and they are sharing same messages and entertainment contents to the audience all over the world. Some people argue that this situation has a negative impact, while others opine that there are more benefits for the public. This essay agrees that sharing same contents to the global world have more drawbacks. In this essay, I will discuss both points of view carefully. It is certain that the growing international media enabled people to watch same information between many nations and some positive aspects of those are found. For one thing, in the field of movies, nowadays people can enjoy any kinds of movies from other nations from the platform system such as Netflix. People can acknowledge the cultural difference through foreign movies and even they can obtain familiarity and good impression to other country’s culture. It can be said that the prevailing of cultural contents throughout the nations would enable people to exchange culture. Despite the above arguments, I believe that expanding global media would cause a lack of diversity such as crucial traditional culture. If the majority of people watch the most popular TV programmes on the global media by using internet and if they no longer watch the local TV shows, the local media would become difficult to maintain their business. Consequently, country’s traditional TV shows such as historical drama may disappear in the near future. In conclusion, although there is no doubt that conveying the same contents to the global audience from the international media have positive effects, I believe that a serious drawback would be found if everyone watch the same TV programme shows such as a decrease of diversified creative culture.
Recently, huge international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is showing a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
growth and
they are sharing same messages and entertainment contents to the audience all over the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that this situation has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact, while others opine that there are more benefits for the public. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that sharing same contents to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
world have more drawbacks. In this essay, I will discuss both points of view
carefully
.

It is certain that the growing international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
enabled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
same information between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of those
are found
. For one thing, in the field of movies, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can enjoy any kinds of movies from other nations from the platform system such as Netflix.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can acknowledge the cultural difference through foreign movies and even they can obtain familiarity and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
impression to other country’s culture. It can
be said
that the prevailing of cultural contents throughout the nations would enable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to exchange culture.

Despite the above arguments, I believe that expanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
would cause a lack of diversity such as crucial traditional culture. If the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
the most popular TV
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
by using internet and if they no longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
the local TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
would become difficult to maintain their business.
Consequently
, country’s traditional TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
such as historical drama may disappear in the near future.

In conclusion
, although there is no doubt that conveying the same contents to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
audience from the international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects, I believe that a serious drawback would
be found
if everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "watches", "watched".
watch
the same TV
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
such as a decrease of diversified creative culture.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay When international media (including movies, fashion shows, advertisements and other TV programmes) convey the same messages to the global audience, people argue that the expansion of international media has negative impacts on cultural diversity. What is your opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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