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Tourism has negative environmental impacts on tourist areas. What are the impacts? How can damaging impacts be lessened v.2

Tourism has negative environmental impacts on tourist areas. What are the impacts? How can damaging impacts be lessened v. 2
There have been arguments concerning the media coverage of famous people. While there are some who believe celebrities should be given more privacy, others think that invasion of their personal lives is one of the prices they pay for their fame. This essay will discuss both sides of the divide. Firstly, it is believed that today’s media, especially Television and Newspapers or Magazines thrive on news made from the lives of popular personalities. These vary from actresses, to music artists, and so on, who by the virtue of their profession somehow expose their personal lives to public scrutiny. The public usually finds it entertaining reading about the happenings in the world of celebrities. Therefore, since it has been proven that media outlets gain more audience and feedback on stories concerning well-known actors and musicians, it becomes a natural news item which in turn generates needed traffic for companies to make profit. This makes it difficult for celebrities to maintain their privacy, because the nature of their job keeps them in the public eye. On the other hand, the effect on the family and loved ones of the affected parties should be considered by the media as much as they want to make profit from publicizing and making news items from superstars’ daily living. For instance, a good number of stars lost their marriages due to information about their homes that filtered to the general public. As a result, lots of broken homes and children keep emerging in the society. In conclusion, although social media have a lot to gain writing about people who are popular, the negative impact of this practice should also be considered to ensure that everyone lives a happy life as they choose.
There have been arguments concerning the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
coverage of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. While there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
who believe celebrities should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more privacy, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that invasion of their personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
is one of the prices they pay for their fame. This essay will discuss both sides of the divide.

Firstly
, it
is believed
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
,
especially
Television and Newspapers or Magazines thrive on news made from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
of popular personalities. These vary from actresses, to music artists, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, who by the virtue of their profession somehow expose their personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
scrutiny. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
usually
finds it entertaining reading about the happenings in the world of celebrities.
Therefore
, since it has
been proven
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
outlets gain more audience and feedback on stories concerning well-known actors and musicians, it becomes a natural news item which in turn generates needed traffic for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
profit. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it difficult for celebrities to maintain their privacy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the nature of their job
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
them in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
eye.

On the other hand
, the effect on the family and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
parties should
be considered
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
as much as they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
profit from publicizing and making news items from superstars’ daily living.
For instance
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
number of stars lost their marriages due to information about their homes that filtered to the general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
.
As a result
, lots of broken homes and children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
emerging in the society.

In conclusion
, although social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have a lot to gain writing about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are popular, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact of this practice should
also
be considered
to ensure that everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
a happy life as they choose.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Tourism has negative environmental impacts on tourist areas. What are the impacts? How can damaging impacts be lessened v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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