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When going on vacation, do you prefer to have outdoor activitied or indoor activities? Please include examples and details in your answer. v.1

When going on vacation, do you prefer to have outdoor activitied or indoor activities? Please include examples and details in your answer. v. 1
Experts thought out both the developing and developed world have debated whether technology motivate people socially. Some believe that advancement in communication systems such as the internet has narrowed our social connections, personally I disagree. This essay will argue that modern communicating tools have wider human interaction options, using examples from the Canadian government and Oxford University to prove my argument. On the one hand, there is ample evidence that human relationships are greatly modified and diversified by the online networks. The central reason behind this is twofold, firstly the invention of wireless cellphone associates with immediate responses, which means one can connect with others from another side of the world in minutes, even seconds. Secondly, smart phone enables people to socialize by posting pictures, status on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter without distance limitations. For example, recent empirical research by the Canadian government demonstrated that 75% of all interviewed subjects owns personal devices and prefer connecting their friends online. Therefore, it is conclusively clear that the modern interpersonal relationship is more active and tightly bonded with the internet. On the other hand, although there is a case for WhatsApp, emails, and even emails enriching communicating methods, the impact of lacking of face-to-face activities, cannot be overstated. This is largely because traditional ways are realistic, trustworthy and authentic for majority people. For example, an anonymous study by Oxford University of 200 students, over 45% of the subjects admitted fabrication on their profile in some degree. Consistent with this line of thinking is that whether the person behind the screen is real, sincere or can be considered as a friend. Thus, it is possible to state beyond doubt that in-person connection is vital. From the argument and examples given, I firmly believe that technology has boarder the dimension of our relationship if we know the person we are connecting in real life. It is predicated internet interaction will increasingly grow in importance.
Experts
thought
out both the developing and developed world have debated whether technology motivate
people
socially
.
Some
believe that advancement in communication systems such as the internet has narrowed our social connections,
personally
I disagree. This essay will argue that modern communicating tools have wider human interaction options, using
examples
from the Canadian
government
and Oxford University to prove my argument.

On the one hand, there is ample evidence that human relationships are
greatly
modified and diversified by the online networks. The central reason behind this is twofold,
firstly
the invention of wireless cellphone associates with immediate responses, which means one can connect with others from another side of the world in minutes, even seconds.
Secondly
, smart phone enables
people
to socialize by posting pictures, status on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter without distance limitations. For
example
, recent empirical research by the Canadian
government
demonstrated that 75% of all interviewed subjects
owns
personal devices and prefer connecting their friends online.
Therefore
, it is
conclusively
clear
that the modern interpersonal relationship is more active and
tightly
bonded with the internet.

On the other hand
, although there is a case for WhatsApp, emails, and even emails enriching communicating methods, the impact of lacking of face-to-face activities, cannot
be overstated
. This is
largely
because
traditional ways are realistic, trustworthy and authentic for majority
people
. For
example
, an anonymous study by Oxford University of 200 students, over 45% of the subjects admitted fabrication on their profile in
some
degree. Consistent with this line of thinking is that whether the person behind the screen is real, sincere or can
be considered
as a friend.
Thus
, it is possible to state beyond doubt that in-person connection is vital.

From the argument and
examples
given
, I
firmly
believe that technology has boarder the dimension of our relationship if we know the person we are connecting in real life. It
is predicated
internet interaction will
increasingly
grow in importance.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay When going on vacation, do you prefer to have outdoor activitied or indoor activities? Please include examples and details in your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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