Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Start a Ride-sharing ProgramStudents who live off-campus often get to campus by car. I propose that the university create a student ride-sharing program, where students who live in the same area would form groups of four with each group driving to campus v.1

Start a Ride-sharing ProgramStudents who live off-campus often get to campus by car. I propose that the university create a student ride-sharing program, where students who live in the same area would form groups of four with each group driving to campus v. 1
Nowadays, many experts think that the community are exercising less. This essay will discuss the two main causes and the possible solutions that will solve this issue. There are two main reasons why this behaviour occurs. Firstly, is the easy access to vehicles. Regardless of the distance, many people these days are likely to use private cars or public transportations to reach their destination. Due to this, the body adjusts to their lack of body movements and causes them to be lazier. Additionally, the use of mobile phones have greatly affected towards this matter. In 2015, for instance, researchers discovered that online applications such as Facebook and Twitter users are the cause for the younger generation to get obesities, as they generally spend more than 8 hours on their phone, restricting them to go to the sport facilities. Therefore, the accessible modern vehicles and mobile phones are the two main reasons why the community are unlikely to exercise. Nevertheless, there are several solutions that can address this issue such as to raise awareness, to force individuals to move and to have the government's aid. Raising awareness in the society by informing the effect of obesities through advertisements often will change the mindset of the society and allow them to be motivated. Furthermore, the community needs to work together to force individual to do body movements during office hours or school classes. Lastly, as government plays a huge role in the current society, they will be able to spend more funds to build sport facilities within the country. In conclusion, people are not getting enough exercise due to the increase in private and public transportations. However, this can be solved by raising awareness, forcing individuals to do body movements and ask for the government's fund to build more sport facilities.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
experts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the community are exercising less. This essay will discuss the two main causes and the possible solutions that will solve this issue.

There are two main reasons why this
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
occurs.
Firstly
, is the easy access to vehicles. Regardless of the distance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
these days are likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
private cars or public transportations to reach their destination. Due to this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
adjusts to their lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
movements and causes them to be lazier.
Additionally
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of mobile phones have
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
towards this matter. In 2015,
for instance
, researchers discovered that online applications such as Facebook and Twitter users are the cause for the younger generation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake found.
obesities
, as they
generally
spend more than 8 hours on their phone, restricting them to go to the sport facilities.
Therefore
, the accessible modern vehicles and mobile phones are the two main reasons why the community are unlikely to exercise.

Nevertheless
, there are several solutions that can address this issue such as to raise awareness, to force individuals to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
and to have the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's aid. Raising awareness in the society by informing the effect of
Possible spelling mistake found.
obesities
through advertisements
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the mindset of the society and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to
be motivated
.
Furthermore
, the community needs to work together to force individual to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
movements during office hours or school classes.
Lastly
, as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
plays a huge role in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
society, they will be able to spend more funds to build sport facilities within the country.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are not getting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
exercise due to the increase in private and public transportations.
However
, this can
be solved
by raising awareness, forcing individuals to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
movements and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's fund to build more sport facilities.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Start a Ride-sharing ProgramStudents who live off-campus often get to campus by car. I propose that the university create a student ride-sharing program, where students who live in the same area would form groups of four with each group driving to campus v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts