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Task 2: Some people prefer outdoor activities. Other people prefer indoor activities. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and example to support your answer. v.1

Task 2: Some people prefer outdoor activities. Other people prefer indoor activities. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and example to support your answer. v. 1
Our dressing sense says a lot about us. Therefore, some people think that it is probably easy to guess a person's character and culture from his dressing style. I personally disagree with this approach. This essay will discuss this scenario using the examples of Oxford University research and Time Magazine survey to demonstrate points and support claims. Firstly, people like to assume someones background norms from its dressing. They assume that by seeing any person, you can imagine the boldness of the society. But this is not the case. For example, Oxford University in 2015 researched on the possibility of guessing someones ancestral living style by just watching his clothing sense and find out that it is not possible at all, because people easily adapt other cultures leaving behind their parent lifestyle. So from this example, it is clear that the assumption of guessing norms of that society by watching someones dressing is baseless. Secondly, some people link clothing with the character. They assume that the short dressing means a person's character is bad. Furthermore, they consider it obscene, instead of appreciating any new trend of short dressing. Similarly, a survey of Time Magazine in 2018 suggests the same story that 60% of people think that people don't regard new trends as fashion, but they consider it sometimes the vulgarity. So from this example, it is clear that the fashion sense is not a character representation. To conclude, choosing a cloth doesn't say anything about our thinking or our background norms. I personally think that based on the above analysis, fashion has no relation with the other factors of the society. It will be good that we will change our view to appreciate dressing, rather than tagging it with the norms and the character of that person.
Our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dressing
sense says a lot about us.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is
probably
easy to guess a person's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
character
and culture from his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dressing
style. I
personally
disagree with this approach. This essay will discuss this scenario using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
examples
of Oxford University research and Time Magazine survey to demonstrate points and support claims.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to assume someones background
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
norms
from its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dressing
. They assume that by seeing any person, you can imagine the boldness of the society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
this is not the case.

For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, Oxford University in 2015 researched on the
Bad style. Before 'possible', use a word such as "chance" or "opportunity". Alternatively, keep 'possibility' and remove 'possible'.
possibility
of guessing someones ancestral living style by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
watching his clothing sense and find out that it is not possible at all,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
easily
adapt other cultures leaving behind their parent lifestyle.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
from this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the assumption of guessing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
norms
of that society by watching someones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dressing
is baseless.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
link clothing with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
character
. They assume that the short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dressing
means a person's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
character
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
.
Furthermore
, they consider it obscene,
instead
of appreciating any new trend of short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dressing
.
Similarly
, a survey of Time Magazine in 2018 suggests the same story that 60% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don't regard new trends as fashion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they consider it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
the vulgarity.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
from this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the fashion sense is not a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
character
representation.

To conclude
, choosing a cloth doesn't say anything about our thinking or our background
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
norms
. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that based on the above analysis, fashion has no relation with the other factors of the society. It will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
that we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our view to appreciate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dressing
,
rather
than tagging it with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
norms
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
character
of that person.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
You live a new life for every new language you speak. If you know only one language, you live only once.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay Task 2: Some people prefer outdoor activities. Other people prefer indoor activities. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and example to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
297 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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