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When famous people such as actors, athletes and rock stars givetheir opinions, many people listen. Do you think we should payattention to these opinions? Use specific reasons and examples tosupport your answer. v.1

When famous people such as actors, athletes and rock stars givetheir opinions, many people listen. Do you think we should payattention to these opinions? Use specific reasons and examples tosupport your answer. v. 1
There is no doubt that wildlife is an essential part of our ecosystem on which we are all dependent and play a vital part in our lives. While some people believe that wildlife protection needs better funding and prior attention of government, but I completely disagree because there is another major problem in our environment which are knocking our door for attention. Firstly, Global warming is one of the most important issues which need immediate attention from the central governments of all the countries. Climate change is occurring that is affecting human and animal life throughout the earth. For instance, glaciers in Antarctica have been started melting at a fast pace for which we human and our lifestyle are responsible for that. Glaciers are the main source of our drinking water and we rely on them to fulfil our daily and future needs for water. Government needs to make a plan to save the glaciers without worrying about the money involved in this task. Another pollution, which is creating more trouble than saving wildlife is water pollutions. Various kinds of chemical and oil industries disposing their hazardous waste directly into the rivers which we will use for drinking. If this continues to happen, we will soon begin to have very serious or deadly medical conditions. Government needs to stop this as soon as possible. They should provide a solution to these companies to dispose their waste at a dump site which is far from the cities. They should invest in recycling or decomposing plants which will take care of these wastes and make the cities cleaner and greener. In my opinion, although wildlife projects are also important to save endangered animals and birds and unfortunately we have other major issues also prior to this to save all the mankind and animals.
There is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
is an essential part of our ecosystem on which we are all dependent and play a vital part in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
protection
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
better funding and prior attention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I completely disagree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is another major problem in our environment which are knocking our door for attention.

Firstly
, Global warming is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issues which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
immediate attention from the central
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
of all the countries. Climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is occurring
that is
affecting human and animal life throughout the earth.
For instance
, glaciers in Antarctica have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
melting at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace for which
It seems that a verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here. Please verify.
we human
and our lifestyle are responsible for that. Glaciers are the main source of our drinking
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
water and
we rely on them to fulfil our daily and future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
for water.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a plan to save the glaciers without worrying about the money involved in this task.

Another pollution, which is creating more trouble than saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
is water pollutions. Various kinds of chemical and oil industries disposing their hazardous waste
directly
into the rivers which we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for drinking. If this continues to happen, we will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
serious or deadly medical conditions.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
this as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible. They should provide a solution to these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to dispose their waste at a dump site which is far from the cities. They should invest in recycling or decomposing plants which will take care of these wastes and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the cities cleaner and greener.

In my opinion, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
projects are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to save endangered animals and birds and unfortunately we have other major issues
also
prior to this to save all the mankind and animals.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay When famous people such as actors, athletes and rock stars givetheir opinions, many people listen. Do you think we should payattention to these opinions? Use specific reasons and examples tosupport your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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