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When famous people such as actors, athletes and rock stars give their opinions, many people listen. Do you think we should pay attention to these opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.3

When famous people such as actors, athletes and rock stars give their opinions, many people listen. Do you think we should pay attention to these opinion? v. 3
In the century of internet and technology, we are covered by the massive information coming from plenty of sources. As a result, it is easy to be influenced by others’ opinions or sayings, especially the famous people such as celebrities, actors or music stars. To some extent, I think we should not let these opinions affect our ways of living and thinking. Firstly, what famous people say are not always reliable and in many cases, they intentionally tell the lies for their own benefits. Nowadays, it is clear that the competition in the society is getting higher and higher. Therefore, some famous people may utilize their popularity by saying something weird or shocked to attract and increase the number of their fans. By this way, they can make their names more well-known as well as secure their positions in the competition of fame. Secondly, a saying giving by a person is just a personal idea and it only represents and reflects herself or himself. Those opinions are very subjective and probably are only correct in some limited cases. If we just follow without considering carefully, it may lead to many unexpected results. For example, a Vietnamese famous singer used to share that she often skips breakfast in order to maintain her good body shape. Actually, in case a person having stomachache and attempts to follow and practice this method, it will definitely be detrimental to his or her health. To summarize, it is good to listen to others’ opinions but we should not let them affect our own thinking and lifestyle.
In the century of internet and technology, we
are covered
by the massive information coming from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of sources.
As a result
, it is easy to
be influenced
by others’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
or sayings,
especially
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
such as celebrities, actors or music stars. To
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
we should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
affect our ways of living and thinking.

Firstly
, what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say are not always reliable and in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases, they
intentionally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
the lies for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits. Nowadays, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the competition in the society is getting higher and higher.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may utilize their popularity by saying something weird or shocked to attract and increase the number of their fans. By this way, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their names more well-known
as well
as secure their positions in the competition of fame.

Secondly
, a saying giving by a person is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
represents and reflects herself or himself. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
subjective and
probably
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
correct in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
limited cases. If we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
follow without considering
carefully
, it may lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
unexpected results.
For example
, a Vietnamese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
singer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to share that she
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
skips breakfast in order to maintain her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
body shape. Actually, in case a person having stomachache and attempts to follow and practice this method, it will definitely be detrimental to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
health.

To summarize
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to listen to others’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them affect our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
thinking and lifestyle.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay When famous people such as actors, athletes and rock stars give their opinions, many people listen. Do you think we should pay attention to these opinion? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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