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Talk about a holiday experience you didn't enjoy. Describe the experience and explain why it wasn't enjoyable. Use reasons and examples to support your response. v.1

Talk about a holiday experience you didn't enjoy. Describe the experience and explain why it wasn't enjoyable. Use reasons and examples to support your response. v. 1
These days due to competition, people have to work more than usual. This trend is common in every working sector. Along with overwork, comes several mental and health issues. In this essay, I will list the problems associated with excessive work and the possible solutions to tackle them. Firstly, work life balance will be disturbed. Working all day long irrespective of the day and night without spending time with the family members will strain the relations, this in turn affects the mental health. For example, a recent report indicates that to burden with work is the main reason for divorce cases. Therefore, everybody should always dedicate few hours a day with their families irrespective of work, to have a peaceful healthy mind. Another problem being physical stress on the health. Due to heavy work, people tend to either skip their meals or eat instant junk food just to ease their hunger, this leads to malnutrition and affects their work productivity as well. For instance, a recent article explained that relationship between a healthy mind and how it affects the work. Hence companies in order to help their employees should provide healthy foods in their canteen and conduct seminars with nutritionists to help balance their diet. This condition lasts long every day that becomes diseases such as cardiovascular disease, obesity, so on. Thanks for listening to my words. To conclude, overwork leads to disturbances in both work and personal life. It is suggested to spend time with family and have good food.
These days due to competition,
people
have to
work
more than usual. This trend is common in every working sector. Along with overwork,
comes
several mental and health issues. In this essay, I will list the problems associated with excessive
work
and the possible solutions to tackle them.

Firstly
,
work life
balance will
be disturbed
. Working all day long irrespective of the day and night without spending time with the family members will strain the relations, this in turn affects the mental health.
For example
, a recent report indicates that to burden with
work
is the main reason for divorce cases.
Therefore
, everybody should always dedicate few hours a day with their families irrespective of
work
, to have a peaceful healthy mind.

Another problem being physical
stress
on the health. Due to heavy
work
,
people
tend to either skip their meals or eat instant junk food
just
to
ease
their hunger, this leads to malnutrition and affects their
work
productivity
as well
.
For instance
, a recent article
explained
that relationship between a healthy mind and how it affects the
work
.
Hence
companies
in order to
help
their employees should provide healthy foods in their canteen and conduct seminars with nutritionists to
help
balance their diet. This condition lasts long every day that becomes diseases such as cardiovascular disease, obesity,
so
on. Thanks for listening to my words.

To conclude
, overwork leads to disturbances in both
work
and personal life. It
is suggested
to spend time with family and have
good
food.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Talk about a holiday experience you didn't enjoy. Describe the experience and explain why it wasn't enjoyable. Use reasons and examples to support your response. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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