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Think about a helpful classmate. Give three reasons to explain what features make this person so helpful. v.1

Think about a helpful classmate. Give three reasons to explain what features make this person so helpful. v. 1
Nowadays, it is very Common to see government spends money on different kind of arts. However, Some people Consider this behaviour as irresponsible one because it leads to losing public money. In my opinion, I totally agree that spending money on the arts is wasting country's money. First of all, wasted money on the arts can be efficiently used in improving different aspects such as medical, educational, and economic aspects. Instead of spending money for not important objects, money may be spent in building hospitals, schools or even roads. Furthermore, government should improve the quality of Live for the population by providing better health care and education. Shortly, it is clear that money must be used to simplify peoples' life. In addition, many people around the world are suffering because they are poor. Developed countries have to support poor countries financially. As a nature of human being, it is not a right action to waste money on arts while people in other countries are dying because of starving. Money can be taken by poor countries as charity, gift or debt. For example, in Somalia there are people who cannot find drinking water. Hence, government should think wisely before spending money on the arts. To conclude, from my respective I believe that sponsoring arts by government is an unnecessary waste of resources. Indeed, money must be used in developing the country and investing in citizens. Besides, many poor people around the world can be given this money.
Nowadays, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Common to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
spends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Consider this
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
as irresponsible one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it leads to losing public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. In my opinion, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is wasting country's money.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, wasted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
can be
efficiently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in improving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects such as medical, educational, and economic aspects.
Instead
of spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
objects,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
may
be spent
in building hospitals, schools or even roads.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Live
for the population by providing better health care and education. Shortly, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to simplify peoples' life.

In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world are suffering
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
. Developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
financially
. As a nature of human being, it is not a right action to waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are dying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of starving.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
can
be taken
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
as charity, gift or debt.
For example
, in Somalia there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who cannot find drinking water.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
wisely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on the arts.

To conclude
, from my respective I believe that sponsoring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is an unnecessary waste of resources.
Indeed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in developing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and investing in citizens.
Besides
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Think about a helpful classmate. Give three reasons to explain what features make this person so helpful. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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