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When designing a building, the most important factor is intended use of the building rather than its outward appearance. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

When designing a building, the most important factor is intended use of the building rather than its outward appearance. v. 2
People have an opine that the usage of the building is the significant factor when designing it instead of the outer appearance, whereas others have a viewpoint that the exterior aspect is the primary factor. I agree with the opinion that although the external beauty of a building is important, but if it is not useful, then the building is a waste. Firstly, there are many erections where the designs are not attractive, but they are very useful to the people in many ways. Moreover, the government nowadays are trying to spend more money on constructing erections which has the usage as their major priority like for accommodation to the poor people, as a library, hospitals and also schools. However, all these are very important, because whatever the structure is the people will utilize it to fulfil their daily requirements. For example, in India we have the housing board facilities for people living in slums. Even though they are small, congested and the outward appearance is not attractive, but it gives an accommodation to people during all the climatic conditions and temperatures. Secondly, when erecting a house or a factory, the most important things to be noted are the area, materials, way it is availed and also the design. Even though there are various constructions where the outer miens are extraordinary, but due to high prices many middle- and low-class people are unable to use these. For examples, there are various five-star hotels in India, where the building design is fantastic and extraordinary, but the public cannot make use of it on daily basis, due to the high prices. In conclusion, although the design of an erections is necessary, but the way people avail them is the significant factor.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
After 'an', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'opine' is correct. If 'opine' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
an opine
that the usage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
is the significant factor when designing it
instead
of the outer appearance, whereas others have a viewpoint that the exterior aspect is the primary factor. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the opinion that although the external beauty of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if it is not useful, then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
is a waste.

Firstly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
erections where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
designs
are not attractive,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.
Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
nowadays are trying to spend more money on constructing erections which has the usage as their major priority like for accommodation to the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, as a library, hospitals and
also
schools.
However
, all these are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
whatever the structure is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will utilize it to fulfil their daily requirements.
For example
, in India we have the housing board facilities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in slums.
Even though
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
, congested and the outward appearance is not attractive,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it gives
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "accommodation".
an accommodation
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
during all the climatic conditions and temperatures.

Secondly
, when erecting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
or a factory, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things to
be noted
are the area, materials, way it
is availed
and
also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
design
.
Even though
there are various constructions where the outer miens are extraordinary,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
due to high prices
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
middle- and low-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these. For examples, there are various five-star hotels in India, where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
design
is fantastic and extraordinary,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the public cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of it on daily basis, due to the high prices.

In conclusion
, although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
design
of
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "an erection" or simply "erections"?
an erections
is necessary,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
avail them is the significant factor.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay When designing a building, the most important factor is intended use of the building rather than its outward appearance. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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