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When designing a building, the most important factor is the intended use of the building rather than its outward appearance. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

When designing a building, the most important factor is the intended use of the building rather than its outward appearance. v. 2
It is considered by a few individuals as the architecture of a building is more crucial rather than the external appearance of the construction. In my opinion, both the intended use of the construction as well as external view of it is equally important. Whenever a new construction is started, the architecture of the building must be considered as one of the top most priorities for the development of the project. If the architectural pattern is not considered during construction, then it could even lead to several extreme dangerous consequences. There are various incidents which took place in the recent years due to the lack of proper architectural designs in the buildings. For an instance, recently a fire accident has occurred at a Taz hotel in Hyderabad and several individuals died in that incident. Later it was found that the unavailability of the emergency exits in the hospital is the root cause of the disaster. On the other hand, the external appearance of the houses is also significant because, the initial view always gives the best impression. Moreover, In the present modern world, the perception of the every individual towards the life has changed. They need everything to be beautiful from internally as well as externally. For an instance, in the year 2019, one of the prestigious projects of Aparna constructions has incurred losses due to the usage of black colour on the outer side. As an outcome, although the interior design was fantastic, the sales were too low. In conclusion, i believe that interior design of the building is very much essential during the construction. Nevertheless, the external view should also be elegant. Therefore, both are equally significant.
It
is considered
by a few individuals as the architecture of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
is more crucial
rather
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
external
appearance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
construction
. In my opinion, both the intended
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
construction
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
external
view of it is
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

Whenever a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
construction
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
, the architecture of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be considered
as one of the top most priorities for the development of the project. If the architectural pattern is not considered during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
construction
, then it could even lead to several extreme
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
consequences. There are various incidents which took place in the recent years due to the lack of proper architectural designs in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
. For an instance, recently a fire accident has occurred at a
Possible spelling mistake found.
Taz
hotel in Hyderabad and several individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
in that incident. Later it
was found
that the unavailability of the emergency exits in the hospital is the root cause of the disaster.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
external
appearance of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
is
also
significant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, the initial view always gives the best impression.
Moreover
, In the present modern world, the perception of the every individual towards the life has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. They need everything to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
from
internally
as well
as
externally
. For an instance, in the year 2019, one of the prestigious projects of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Aparna
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
constructions
has incurred losses due to the usage of black
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
on the outer side. As an outcome, although the interior design was fantastic, the sales were too low.

In conclusion
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that interior design of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much essential during the construction.

Nevertheless
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
external
view should
also
be elegant.
Therefore
, both are
equally
significant.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
You live a new life for every new language you speak. If you know only one language, you live only once.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay When designing a building, the most important factor is the intended use of the building rather than its outward appearance. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
279 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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