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Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective? v.20

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. What other measures do you think might be effective? v. 20
The growing problem of green gas emission, has elaborated many problems to the surface. Some suggest that, if the cost of gas is sky high, people will be less dependent on their cars, and that in turn will decrease the usage of personal cars which in turn help to reduce environmental pollution. I do agree with this, for many reasons that I will discuss below. Firstly, if the local authority provides the city with good and comfortable public transportation, many will shift to it instead of driving their own cars for their workplace, which in turn will be less costly for many individuals around the globe. For example, in Amman the capital of Jordan, the traffic jam is a critical problem that is growing every day, besides, the oil price is relatively higher than the adjacent countries. Most of the local residents are waiting the ongoing project of Amman fast bus, which will be a good substitute for many and less expensive for others and will help to reduce the carbon dioxide emission. Secondly, if you are an average paid worker and the monthly expenses of your car fuel is high, this will push you to buy an electrical car. Such kind of cars are very efficient in local city streets in which you cannot accelerate or drive fast. This might be helpful to reduce the congestion inside the city. Most of these cars have a reasonable price with many technological advances that make them more appealing to customers. Lastly but not the least, Nowadays, many car manufacturers is shifting towards making electric and hybrid vehicles and avoid those with large engine that consumes large amount of fuel, since high oil prices make the selling rate of such cars is low. To summarise, if the local authorities raised the petroleum cost, this will have many positive effects of downsizing the use of personal cars and indirectly will impact positively on the environment by reducing gas emissions.
The growing problem of green gas emission, has elaborated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems to the surface.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
suggest that, if the cost of gas is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
sky high
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will be less dependent on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, and that in turn will decrease the usage of personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
which in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
environmental pollution. I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons that I will discuss below.

Firstly
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
authority provides the city with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and comfortable public transportation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
will shift to it
instead
of driving their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
for their workplace, which in turn will be less costly for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals around the globe.
For example
, in Amman the capital of Jordan, the traffic jam is a critical problem
that is
growing every day,
besides
, the oil price is
relatively
higher than the adjacent countries. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
residents are waiting the ongoing project of Amman
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
bus, which will be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
substitute for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
and less expensive for others and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the carbon dioxide emission.

Secondly
, if you are an average paid worker and the monthly expenses of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
fuel is high, this will push you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
an electrical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
. Such kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
efficient in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
city streets in which you cannot accelerate or drive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
. This might be helpful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the congestion inside the city. Most of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
have a reasonable price with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
technological advances that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more appealing to customers.

Lastly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least, Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
manufacturers is shifting towards making electric and hybrid vehicles and avoid those with large engine that consumes large amount of fuel, since high oil prices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the selling rate of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
is low.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
authorities raised the petroleum cost, this will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects of downsizing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and
indirectly
will impact
positively
on the environment by reducing gas emissions.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. What other measures do you think might be effective? v. 20

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
326 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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