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Some think that economic progress is completely dependent on the country’s success, while others believe that other factors are also important. What are the different factors contributing to the success of a country? Do you believe that only one factor is important, compared to others? v.2

Some think that economic progress is completely dependent on the country’s success, while others believe that other factors are also important. What are the different factors contributing to the success of a country? Do you believe that only one factor is important, compared to others? v. 2
Many people believe that economic growth is the only factor for nation success, whereas few has different views. While economic development is a crucial thing, I believe that other factors are also very vital in the contribution of the country's progress. There are some important points in the success of the country in terms of economic development. Firstly, employment rate plays a major factor. Moreover, every community prefers to provide a variety of job options to people and also now-a-days employment is increasing alarmingly across the world. For Example, Canada offers a wide range of opportunities for many individual and it is indirectly grows its economy. Secondly, many countries are dependent on imports and exports. Here, they establish a strong connection with neighbouring countries. As shown as, USA is considered as one of the richest democracy in the world because of its economic expansion. However, I personally believe that others factors also plays an important role in the society's growth apart from economic development. First, the health sector is treated as an essential part. Hence, every state looks for their citizens to be healthy and active. For Instance, Italy and USA especially grows their revenue by health and becomes a key to country's advancement. Next, environment can also be judged as essential in the evolution of the territory. Hence, it increases revenue and growth by tourist activities. To illustrate, Switzerland is the best environment place across the globe, according to the Environmental Performance Index. To Conclude, Economic advancement is just one measure of success. Every nation should even consider other norms in perspective of health and environment to achieve huge victory.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
for nation success, whereas few has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
development is a crucial thing, I believe that other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vital in the contribution of the country's progress.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
points in the success of the country in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
development.
Firstly
, employment rate plays a major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
.
Moreover
, every community prefers to provide a variety of job options to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
-a-days employment is increasing
alarmingly
across the world.
For Example
, Canada offers a wide range of opportunities for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individual and it is
indirectly
grows its economy.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries are dependent on imports and exports. Here, they establish a strong connection with
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbouring' is British English.
neighbouring
countries. As shown as, USA
is considered
as one of the richest democracy in the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
expansion.

However
, I
personally
believe that others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
also
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the society's growth apart from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
development.
First
, the health sector
is treated
as an essential part.
Hence
, every state looks for their citizens to be healthy and active.
For Instance
, Italy and USA
especially
grows their revenue by health and becomes a key to country's advancement.
Next
, environment can
also
be judged
as essential in the evolution of the territory.
Hence
, it increases revenue and growth by tourist activities. To illustrate, Switzerland is the best environment place across the globe, according to the Environmental Performance Index.

To Conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Economic
advancement is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one measure of success. Every nation should even consider other norms in perspective of health and environment to achieve huge victory.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some think that economic progress is completely dependent on the country’s success, while others believe that other factors are also important. What are the different factors contributing to the success of a country? Do you believe that only one factor is important, compared to others? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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