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When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.7

When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. with this opinion? v. 7
Overall, I disagree with the opinion expressed, I would like to begin by pointing out that ‘traditional skills and ways of life’ are not automatically of one country, but of a culture or community. In many ways, the history of civilisation is the history of technology: from the discovery of fire to the invention of the wheel to the development of the Internet we have been moving on from previous ways of doing things. Some technologies, such as weapons of mass destruction, are of negative impact. Others, such as medical advances, positively help people to live better or longer, and so very much help traditional ways of life. Surely, few people would seek to preserve such traditions as living in caves. Interestingly, technology can positively contribute to the keeping alive of traditional skills and ways of life. For example, the populations of some islands are too small to have normal schools. Rather than breaking up families by sending children to the mainland, education authorities have been able to use the Internet to deliver schooling online. In addition, the Internet, and modern refrigeration techniques, are being used to keep alive the traditional skills of producing salmon; it can now be ordered from, and delivered to, anywhere in the world. In conclusion, without suggesting that all technology is necessarily good, I think it is by no means ‘pointless’, in any way, to try to keep traditions alive with technology. We should not ignore technology, because it can be our friend and support our way of life.
Overall
, I disagree with the opinion expressed, I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
by pointing out that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
‘traditional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life’
are not
automatically
of one country,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
of a culture

or community.

In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
, the history of
Possible spelling mistake. 'civilisation' is British English.
civilisation
is the history of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
: from the discovery of fire to the invention of the wheel to the development of the Internet we have been moving on from previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of doing things.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
, such as weapons of mass destruction, are of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact. Others, such as medical advances,
positively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
better or longer, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Surely
, few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would seek to preserve such traditions as living in caves.

Interestingly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can
positively
contribute to the keeping alive of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, the populations of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
islands are too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
to have normal schools.
Rather
than breaking up families by sending children to the mainland, education authorities have been able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the Internet to deliver schooling online.
In addition
, the Internet, and modern refrigeration techniques, are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
alive the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of producing salmon; it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
be ordered
from, and delivered to, anywhere in the world.

In conclusion
, without suggesting that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is
necessarily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is by no means ‘pointless’, in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
, to try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
traditions alive with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. We should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can be our friend and support our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. with this opinion? v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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