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Both the poor and the rich find the accessibility into univerisity difficult. Do you agree or disagree. v.2

Both the poor and the rich find the accessibility into univerisity difficult. v. 2
To a large extent, many students have experienced various issues to get into university education. Because they have to undergo various evaluation process and depends on their financial stability. I am going to discuss both merits as well as a downside in the following arguments. To begin with, several tutelage institutions regulates their admission process, but many countries have different edification boards at an intermediate level. For example, In India, the examination boards are like a State board, Matriculation, CBSE, ICT, JEE, National Eligibility Test, and etc. Each one these are having own standards and it varies from one another. The evaluation process also varies from these individual bodies or the combination of any two. Many students are struggling to prepare the syllabus to get into their graduate degree. It is very common whether they are rich or poor. Secondly, Several education institutions are following some set of methods that the reservation system for those who want to enter via management quota, which lead to getting into the graduate program without any entrance exam or anticipated to appear any one of the screening processes. For example, At least 5 seats are blocked under management quota irrespective any stream of education. These students may have a good financial background or management wants to help those who are good in studies, but they are below the poverty line, however, they are expected to approach exams and score average marks. In conclusion, all levels of students have given the various exams to pursue their college education irrespective of any board of education and their wealth. They are screened various aspects like aptitude test, communication skills, behavioural methods, subject knowledge and, etc. These methods make them struggle to get into the education system.
To a large extent,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have experienced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
issues to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
undergo
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
evaluation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
and depends on their financial stability. I am going to discuss both merits
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
a downside in the following arguments.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, several tutelage institutions regulates their admission
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
edification
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boards
at an intermediate level.
For example
, In India, the examination
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boards
are like a State
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
board
, Matriculation, CBSE, ICT,
Possible spelling mistake found.
JEE
, National Eligibility
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Test
,
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
. Each one these are having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
standards and it varies from one another. The evaluation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
also
varies from these individual bodies or the combination of any two.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are struggling to prepare the syllabus to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into their graduate degree. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common whether they are rich or poor.

Secondly
, Several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
institutions are following
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
set of methods that the reservation system for those who want to enter via management quota, which lead to getting into the graduate program without any entrance exam or anticipated to appear any one of the screening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
processes
.
For example
, At least 5 seats
are blocked
under management quota irrespective any stream of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
financial background or management wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
those who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in studies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are below the poverty line,
however
, they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to approach exams and score average marks.

In conclusion
, all levels of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
exams to pursue their college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
irrespective of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
board
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and their wealth. They
are screened
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
aspects like aptitude
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
, communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
methods, subject knowledge and, etc. These methods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them struggle to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Both the poor and the rich find the accessibility into univerisity difficult. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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