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When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. v.27

When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. v. 27
These days, it has become a fashionable trend for a country trying to develop its technology. However, at the same time, this condition has changed and made several aspects such as ability as well as the way of life ignored by society. Some argue that it will be useless to make it up or keep it sustains because automatically technology brings a lot changes to the society. Personally, I strongly disagree that technology will bring negative impacts for a country when a country tries to adapt it. I will explain that in this essay according to my opinions and views. Firstly, technology takes a vaccinating role in the global society, especially for a country. A country that tries to adapt technology as the foundation of lifestyle indirectly traditional aspects will improve and a country will find a platform to promote their culture globally. For example, Japan as a country shows progressive development in technology by creating many variations of technology. Japan still makes their culture known well by people around the world. At the same time, a lot of findings or creations were done by experts in Japan but traditional skills or the way of life still remain same. Furthermore, technology helps to promote cultural and traditional aspects from a country. Today there are many countries tend to use technology to introduce their culture as well as their lifestyle in different parts of the world. For instance Indonesia, Ministry of Information and Technology succeed to promote culture and Indonesian lifestyle in South East Asia region during SEA Olympiad by using the internet and mobile television. Based on research by Indonesian media association 25, 000 people reached because the way of advertising by using technology. In conclusion, even though some people still believe that technology will change a lot of aspects of a country but I believe that technology supports a country’s development, society to be introduced, and make a country well known worldwide when a country develop technology in the right way.
These days, it has become a fashionable trend for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
trying to develop its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
However
, at the same time, this condition has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and made several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aspects
such as ability as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as the way of life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that it will be useless to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it up or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it sustains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
automatically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
brings a lot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Personally
, I
strongly
disagree that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
tries to adapt it. I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
that in this essay according to my opinions and views.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
takes a vaccinating role in the global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
,
especially
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
that tries to adapt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
as the foundation of lifestyle
indirectly
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aspects
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will find a platform to promote their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
globally.
For example
, Japan as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
progressive development in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
by creating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
variations of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Japan
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the world. At the same time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
findings or creations
were done
by experts in Japan
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
traditional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
or the way of life
still
remain same.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to promote cultural and traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aspects
from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
to introduce their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as their lifestyle in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world.
For instance
Indonesia, Ministry of Information and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
succeed to promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and Indonesian lifestyle in South East Asia region during SEA Olympiad by using the internet and mobile television. Based on research by Indonesian media association 25, 000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
reached
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the way of advertising by using technology.

In conclusion
,
even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
still
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aspects
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
supports a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
development,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
to
be introduced
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
known worldwide when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in the right way.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. v. 27

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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