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When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.21

With the advancement in technology, conventional methods and skills are no longer in practice. I think we should upgrade to new methods where it is required, but we should also keep practicing traditional ones in certain circumstances, where they prove to be the most appropriate solution. Traditional skills and ways of doing things are part of our history. It is good to keep them alive especially, when they provide more feasible solutions to current era matters. For instance, a flat bread maker was launched few years back, but it is still not used commonly because it is unable to replace the taste and feature of hand made breads which women make in their home. Despite of the technology driven tool, majority of women are still making breads by their own hands. However, we also believe that we should keep up with the pace of technology, as it is need of the hour. On the other hand, Technology has saved a lot of time and energy of mankind. It has simplified many complicated procedures. For instance, mobile phones and laptops have led to the replacing traditional method of letters, which were used in past as a medium for sending ideas, now with just a click messages can be sent far away. As a result of technological advancements, old methods are now becoming absolete. This is due to the fact that there is no point in preserving conventional ones when the latest one is far more better than the older one in every aspect. Speed, accuracy and reduced labour are all benefits of the modern one. Thus, it can be concluded, that despite of adopting latest technology, there is a need to maintain traditional skills in current era as they are still relevant in responding to many of our’s needs.
With the advancement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are no longer in practice. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
we should upgrade to new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
where it
is required
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we should
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
practicing traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
in certain circumstances, where they prove to be the most appropriate solution.

Traditional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and ways of doing things are part of our history. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them alive
especially
, when they provide more feasible solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
era matters.
For instance
, a flat bread maker
was launched
few years back,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
still
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
commonly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is unable to replace the taste and feature of hand made breads which women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
in their home.
Did you mean “Despite” (or, alternatively, ‘in spite of’)?
Despite of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
driven tool,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
women are
still
making breads by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
hands.
However
, we
also
believe that we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with the pace of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, as it
is need
of the hour.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
has saved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time and energy of mankind. It has simplified
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
complicated procedures.
For instance
, mobile phones and laptops have led to the replacing traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
of letters, which were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in past as a medium for sending
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a click messages can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
far away.
As a result
of technological advancements,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
becoming
Possible spelling mistake found.
absolete
.
This is due to the fact that
there is no point in preserving conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
when the latest one is far
Use only “better” (without ‘more’) when you use the comparative.
more better
than the older one in every aspect. Speed, accuracy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
Possible spelling mistake. ‘labour’ is British English.
labour
are all benefits of the modern one.

Thus
, it can
be concluded
, that
Did you mean “despite” (or, alternatively, ‘in spite of’)?
despite of
adopting
A determiner is probably missing here: “the latest”.
latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, there is a need to maintain traditional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
era as they are
still
relevant in responding to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of
The possessive pronoun “ours” is spelled without an apostrophe.
our’s
needs.
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IELTS essay When a country develops its technology, traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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