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When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.13

When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. with this opinion? v. 13
Nowadays, technological advances and their rapid and wide applications are having a significant impact on a nation’s traditional skills and ways of life. Some argue that such impact is so extraordinary that it would make conventional skills and life styles obsolete. However, I believe they would continue to thrive by providing alternatives to modern ways of life, and innovative ideas for modern technologies. First of all, traditional skills and ways of life are becoming an alternative solution to the problems caused by “mainstream” ways of life which are greatly influenced by modern technologies. For instance, a cosy restaurant where traditional, home-brewed beer is served, offers another experience to people who are bored with branded beers that have the same flavour and come out of mass production with new technologies. It is in such a venue where traditional skills are preserved, people become relaxed and educated. Providing diversity and thus enriching modern ways of life, such traditional skills and ways of life would continue to have their place. Furthermore, conventional skills provide innovative ideas for the development of modern technologies. For example, sparkled with how the word “Love” is traditionally knitted into a sweater by some ethnic minority women in some parts of Asia, some business managers from textile industry have developed some production lines by applying the traditional skills to Computer-Aided Designs (CAD). The products have boosted the companies’ sales, which in turn have increased their investment in preserving traditional skills for further developing their technologies. To conclude, traditional skills and life styles are increasingly becoming a useful alternative to the homogeneity brought by global applications of modern technologies. However, the evolution of technologies is a selection process, whereby some would become obsolete, but there is no doubt that some would thrive when their roles are appreciated.
Nowadays, technological advances and their rapid and wide applications are having a significant impact on a nation’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that such impact is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
extraordinary that it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
styles obsolete.
However
, I believe they would continue to thrive by providing alternatives to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, and innovative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
technologies.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
are becoming an alternative solution to the problems caused by “mainstream”
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
which are
greatly
influenced by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
.
For instance
, a
Possible spelling mistake. 'cosy' is British English.
cosy
restaurant where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
, home-brewed beer
is served
, offers another experience to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
are bored
with branded beers that have the same
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavour' is British English.
flavour
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out of mass production with new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
. It is in such a venue where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are preserved
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
become relaxed and educated. Providing diversity and
thus
enriching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
would continue to have their place.

Furthermore
, conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
provide innovative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
for the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
.
For example
, sparkled with how the word “
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Love
” is
traditionally
knitted into a sweater by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ethnic minority women in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts of Asia,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
business managers from textile industry have developed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
production lines by applying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to Computer-Aided Designs (CAD). The products have boosted the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
’ sales, which in turn have increased their investment in preserving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
for
further
developing their technologies.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
styles are
increasingly
becoming a useful alternative to the homogeneity brought by global applications of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
.
However
, the evolution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
is a selection process, whereby
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
would become obsolete,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there is no doubt that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
would thrive when their roles
are appreciated
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. with this opinion? v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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