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When a country develops its technology the traditional skills and the ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.1

When a country develops its technology the traditional skills and the ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. with this opinion? v. 1
Technology has a vast impact in the transition of the world. It is believed that with the emergence of new technology in any nation, people lose their skills and it also impact on the their life in various ways. It is also considered necessary to use their competencies when they can do it more proficient with the help of any latest machine. I contradict with the given statement for two reasons. Firstly, it keeps the old customs and traditions alive and secondly, these skill sets are the basics of any latest technology. To begin with, these skills are very significant for any country, they are like an artwork which act as a symbol of identity for the country. Furthermore, every nation tends to have some skills which have been passed on to them by their ancestors. These varieties of skills are their heritage which cannot be spoiled because it also defines their lifestyle. For example, in Dubai village, people from all over the world displays their traditional art works which act as their identity. In addition to this, with the development of technology, we cannot ignore the fact that there is no alternate for the creative skills of a person. And these skills are the fundamental rules of any technology. Likewise, if an individual knows about traditional ways of his field, he can stand out among his colleagues. For instance, in order to learn graphic designing one need to learn the basics of art and sketch first. To recapitulate, the skills which are transferred over the year to next generation cannot be overlooked as it maintains the beauty of our old customs and traditions. Moreover, they are the foundation of any technology, which turns out to be beneficial for any field of life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
has a vast impact in the transition of the world. It
is believed
that with the emergence of new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in any nation,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
lose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and it
also
Did you mean "impacts"?
impact
on
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "their life" or "the life"?
the their life
in various ways. It is
also
considered necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their competencies when they can do it more proficient with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of any latest machine. I contradict with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement for two reasons.
Firstly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
customs and traditions alive and
secondly
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
sets are the basics of any latest technology.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
significant for any country, they are like an artwork which act as a symbol of identity for the country.
Furthermore
, every nation tends to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
which have
been passed
on to them by their ancestors. These varieties of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are their heritage which cannot
be spoiled
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
also
defines their lifestyle.
For example
, in Dubai village,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from all over the world displays their traditional art works which act as their identity.

In addition
to this, with the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, we cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the fact that there is no alternate for the creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of a person. And these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are the fundamental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
Likewise
, if an individual knows about traditional ways of his field, he can stand out among his colleagues.
For instance
, in order to learn graphic designing one need to learn the basics of art and sketch
first
.

To recapitulate, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
which
are transferred
over the year to
next
generation cannot
be overlooked
as it maintains the beauty of our
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
customs and traditions.
Moreover
, they are the foundation of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, which turns out to be beneficial for any field of life.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay When a country develops its technology the traditional skills and the ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. with this opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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