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As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual well-being. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers? v.32

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual well-being. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers? v. 32
Job fulfilment is indeed an indispensable element in adult life since most of their life is spent in the workplace. There are several factors that can affect employee enjoyment and the following essay will discuss in detail about some of the factors, and how realistic they are. Two important things can be influenced people's delight. First of all, extrinsic motivation factors such as superior working conditions and job security can significantly affect how satisfied people will be when they are doing the job every day. As a result, most people nowadays are chasing high compensation or holiday policy make these factors become the company’s competitive advantage to acquire employees who possess better skills and capabilities than their competitors. Secondly, employees also have intrinsic motivation needs, which include such factors as recognition, achievement. For example, when managers provide recognition to employees, motivate them to work together, and remove obstacles preventing performance, workers feel more obligated to stay with the company. As for compensation and benefit, the idea that employees would be satisfied with their jobs if they get paid high only in the reduction of dissatisfaction. Some people never satisfied with their total earnings and their salary, after the amount of time they will ask for more. And it is difficult to find the ideal environment for people who seek perfect condition. Every workplace has its own unique culture and style, therefore the workers should adapt and adjust themselves to the working environment. In conclusion, it is true that adults are spending a lot of their time at work, therefore jobs vindication is an essential thing. There a numerous factor that contributes to job achievement, but some are realistic while others a not.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Job
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
is
indeed
an indispensable element in adult life since most of their life
is spent
in the workplace. There are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
that can affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
enjoyment and the following essay will discuss in detail about
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
, and how realistic they are.

Two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things can
be influenced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's delight.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, extrinsic motivation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
such as superior working conditions and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
security can
significantly
affect how satisfied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be when they are doing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
every day.
As a result
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays are chasing high compensation or holiday policy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
become the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
’s competitive advantage to acquire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
who possess better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and capabilities than their competitors.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
also
have intrinsic motivation needs, which include such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
as recognition, achievement.
For example
, when managers provide recognition to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
, motivate them to work together, and remove obstacles preventing performance, workers feel more obligated to stay with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

As for compensation and benefit, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
would
be satisfied
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
paid high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in the reduction of dissatisfaction.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
never satisfied with their total earnings and their salary, after the amount of time they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
more. And it is difficult to find the ideal environment for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who seek perfect condition. Every workplace has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
unique culture and style,
therefore
the workers should adapt and adjust themselves to the working environment.

In conclusion
, it is true that adults are spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
their time at work,
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
vindication is an essential thing. There a numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
that contributes to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
achievement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are realistic while others a not.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual well-being. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers? v. 32

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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