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What kinds of qualities should a good leader possess? Please give specific details and examples to state your opinion. v.1

What kinds of qualities should a good leader possess? Please give specific details and examples to state your opinion. v. 1
Nowadays, it is seen that most of the people spend their leisure time in watching television, which makes them lazy and an anti-social person. I would agree with this statement as it is quite often observed in the people. To embark on, the TV programs are addictive. Most of the channels on Television are very interesting and are getting popular day by day. So people tend to watch it as a daily routine, if not they will be losing the continuity of it. While they will not find time to interact with the people, as they are occupied by the schedules of programs. For instance, if a person is watching a TV series, he will be more curious about the upcoming episodes, which he will not wish to miss it. Having this as a reason, he will not find time to socialize with people. Secondly, spending lots of time watching television will make a person lazy. If people are getting entertained just by sitting at one place, they will not be in a mood to work or move out and they want their food to be served to them, as they will be deeply involved and doesn't want them to be distracted by external sources. To exemplify, a recent study has shown that the percentage of people watching television seem to become more lazy when opposed to those who do not watch. To conclude, personally I believe television is dominating people's leisure time by making them lazy and an anti-social person. This will affect them as they will get good exposure to the outside world as they are in their own.
Nowadays, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lazy
and an anti-social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
. I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement as it is quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
observed in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To embark on, the TV programs are addictive. Most of the channels on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
interesting and are getting popular day by day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
it as a daily routine, if not they will be losing the continuity of it. While they will not find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to interact with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, as they
are occupied
by the schedules of programs.
For instance
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is watching a TV series, he will be more curious about the upcoming episodes, which he will not wish to miss it. Having this as a reason, he will not find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to socialize with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Secondly
, spending lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lazy
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting entertained
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by sitting at one place, they will not be in a mood to work or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
out and
they want their food to
be served
to them, as they will be
deeply
involved and doesn't want them to
be distracted
by external sources. To exemplify, a recent study has shown that the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
seem to become more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lazy
when opposed to those who do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
.

To conclude
,
personally
I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is dominating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by making them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lazy
and an anti-social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
. This will affect them as they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
exposure to the outside world as they are in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
You live a new life for every new language you speak. If you know only one language, you live only once.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay What kinds of qualities should a good leader possess? Please give specific details and examples to state your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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