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Is human activity a substantial cause of global climate change? Use specific details and examples to support your answer. v.1

Is human activity a substantial cause of global climate change? Use specific details and examples to support your answer. v. 1
There is agreement that the amount of sugar people consume is often over the healthy limit, but whether this is the responsibility of individuals or governments to solve is debatable. In my opinion, limiting sugar intake is a shared responsibility of both, but in different ways. Some would argue that it is the government’s role to limit sugar consumption as they are in control of legislation. Clearly the greatest problem with sugar consumption is how much ‘hidden’ sugar there is in drinks and processed foods. It is therefore the government’s duty to enforce laws that require food companies to clearly label their products in simple terms so that consumers know how much sugar is contained within them. It should also be their responsibility to place hard limits on the amount of sugar that is permissible in processed foods, and not just leave this up to the companies themselves. However, others would argue that it is up to individuals to control their own behaviour. A government can legislate, but it is up to the individual to educate themselves about healthy options and choose better products when they shop. People often use the excuse of ‘not knowing’ what is and is not a healthy option. However, there is so much information available nowadays about food content on the internet and in the media that this is a weak excuse. It is very easy to find out what is an acceptable daily allowance of sugar for children and adults and use the product labels to stay under that limit. In conclusion, I would argue that there are valid arguments for a certain amount of responsibility on both sides. Therefore, limiting sugar intake has to be shared between governments and individuals. A government can require more transparency from food companies, but only an individual can actually stop making poor choices.
There is agreement that the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consume is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
over the healthy limit,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
whether this is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
to solve is debatable. In my opinion, limiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
intake is a shared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
of both,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
would argue that it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
role to limit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
consumption as they are in control of legislation.
Clearly
the greatest problem with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
consumption is how much ‘hidden’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
there is in drinks and processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. It is
therefore
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
duty to enforce laws that require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to
clearly
label their products in simple terms
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that consumers know how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
is contained
within them. It should
also
be their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
to place
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
limits on the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
that is
permissible in processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
, and not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
this up to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
themselves.

However
, others would argue that it is up to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to control their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can legislate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is up to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
to educate themselves about healthy options and choose better products when they shop.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the excuse of ‘not knowing’ what is and is not a healthy option.
However
, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much information available nowadays about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
content on the internet and in the media that this is a weak excuse. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy to find out what is an acceptable daily allowance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
for children and adults and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the product labels to stay under that limit.

In conclusion
, I would argue that there are valid arguments for a certain amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
on both sides.
Therefore
, limiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
intake
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be shared
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can require more transparency from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
can actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
making poor choices.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Is human activity a substantial cause of global climate change? Use specific details and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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