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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: Parent should be in the process of helping their children to choose a university. Use specific reasons and details in your response. v.1

: Parent should be in the process of helping their children to choose a university. Use specific reasons and details in your response. v. 1
There are many nations where residents prefer to own a house. However, in some developed countries, people are more likely of renting a house instead of acquiring one. While renting seems beneficial in some cases, but it is not free from drawbacks. According to me, it is a matter of personal choice to lease or buy based on the circumstances. To begin with, the foremost advantage of renting a property is less investment which is quite economical. It helps the occupants to control their expenses by avoiding mortgage interests, debts and high maintenance. Unlike purchasing a new house would be exorbitant, leasing is comparatively cheaper and it also provides a chance for an individual to reside in a premium locality which would otherwise cost a lump sum to own. For example, the monthly rent may be roughly lesser than property tax and interests on loans. Furthermore, a merit of living as a tenant is the ease of migration. With the evolving job opportunities worldwide, it is likely for a person to shift from one city to another for career growth. It provides high mobility to people whose residence is changing frequently due to transfers in employment. They can easily change the locality with a prior notice with less cost of moving. On the other hand, the demerit of renting a flat will be no legal ownership. It is a matter of pride to own a property which unfortunately cannot happen if you rent a flat. The rent payments will only account towards an expense rather than an investment. At the end of the day, even after spending on a monthly basis, you cannot legally call it your own. Another disadvantage is that there are numerous restrictions on tenants which is not the case if you are the owner. Renters are prohibited from making any alteration or renovation to the leased home. Also, they become liable if anything gets damaged. This deprives a person of freedom to reside as per the wish. In conclusion, occupants should carefully analyse the privileges and downsides of renting a home before making a decision.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations where residents prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
However
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are more likely of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
instead
of acquiring one. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
seems beneficial in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not free from drawbacks.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
, it is a matter of personal choice to lease or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
based on the circumstances.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the foremost advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
a property is less investment which is quite economical. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the occupants to control their expenses by avoiding mortgage interests, debts and high maintenance. Unlike purchasing a new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
would be exorbitant, leasing is
comparatively
cheaper and it
also
provides a chance for an individual to reside in a premium locality which would
otherwise
cost a lump sum to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
For example
, the monthly rent may be roughly lesser than property tax and interests on loans.

Furthermore
, a merit of living as a tenant is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of migration. With the evolving job opportunities worldwide, it is likely for a person to shift from one city to another for career growth. It provides high mobility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
whose residence is changing
frequently
due to transfers in employment. They can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the locality with a prior notice with less cost of moving.

On the other hand
, the demerit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
a flat will be no legal ownership. It is a matter of pride to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a property which unfortunately cannot happen if you rent a flat. The rent payments will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
account towards an expense
rather
than an investment. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the day, even after spending on a monthly basis, you cannot
legally
call it your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.

Another disadvantage is that there are numerous restrictions on tenants which is not the case if you are the owner. Renters
are prohibited
from making any alteration or renovation to the leased home.
Also
, they become liable if anything
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
damaged. This deprives a person of freedom to reside as per the wish.

In conclusion
, occupants should
carefully
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the privileges and downsides of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
a home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making a decision.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay : Parent should be in the process of helping their children to choose a university. Use specific reasons and details in your response. v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
349 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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