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What is your favorite time of a year? Include details and examples to support your explanation. v.1

What is your favorite time of a year? Include details and examples to support your explanation. v. 1
Lifestyle has been changing a lot since the modern day. Many people are choosing to live as a real married couple before they get married. There is a belief that this trend gives couples plenty of benefits, especially fully understand between each other. In my opinion, I agree with that statement. I believe that fully understanding has an important role in building the relationship. In fact, a number of divorced couples are growing up dramatically nowadays. Cohabitation is one of the new lifestyles that developed by the youth to prevent it happens. In this lifestyle, a couple will live together as a real family. They will share the housework or even start to plan their family’s finances. Therefore, some arguments which never happened before will occur now. Based on that kind of conversations, the couple will be able to decide whether they were finding the right partner for their life, which is helping them to avoid divorce in the future. However, there are still many people disagree cohabitation, especially Asian people. Because of the Asian culture, people think that a woman should not live together with a man before they planning a wedding. In addition, they also think that women have to get married as soon as possible. It is very important for the female to have a real family before they reach the age of thirty in Asia. Cohabitation still a hot topic and being against in many countries in Asia such as Vietnam and China. In conclusion, I think cohabitation is one of the modern lifestyles that people should adopt it because it can prevent couples from divorce in the future. Divorcing is a big problem in the present. It will cause a big effect on children’s development. Love does not need to be ended up with a marriage relationship. I believe couples still have a happy life without having registration of marriage, but with the fully understand between each other.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Lifestyle
has been changing a lot since the modern day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are choosing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
as a real married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married. There is a belief that this trend gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of benefits,
especially
fully
understand between each other. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that statement.

I believe that
fully
understanding has an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in building the relationship. In fact, a number of divorced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
are growing up
dramatically
nowadays. Cohabitation is one of the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyles
that developed by the youth to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
it happens. In this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couple
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
together as a real family. They will share the housework or even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to plan their family’s finances.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
arguments which never happened
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
will occur
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. Based on that kind of conversations, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couple
will be able to decide whether they were finding the right partner for their life, which is helping them to avoid divorce in the future.

However
, there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
disagree cohabitation,
especially
Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the Asian culture,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that a woman should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
together with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
Did you mean "they're planning", "they are planning", or "they were planning"?
they planning
a wedding.
In addition
, they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that women
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the female to have a real family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
they reach the age of thirty in Asia. Cohabitation
still
a hot topic and being against in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries in Asia such as Vietnam and China.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
cohabitation is one of the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyles
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should adopt it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
from divorce in the future. Divorcing is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem in the present. It will cause a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
effect on children’s development.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Love
does not need to
be ended
up with a marriage relationship. I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
still
have a happy life without having registration of marriage,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with the
fully
understand between each other.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay What is your favorite time of a year? Include details and examples to support your explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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