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EDUCATION-Describe your education. -What kind of school did you go to as a child? -Did you go to a co-educational school? -What was your favorite subject as a child? -Who was your favorite teacher? -What is the education system like in your country? -Do you v.1

EDUCATION-Describe your education. -What kind of school did you go to as a child? -Did you go to a co-educational school? -What was your favorite subject as a child? -Who was your favorite teacher? -What is the education system like in your country? -Do you v. 1
Most of the countries are experiencing a tremendous increase in the crime rate in bigger cities as compared to the countryside. I believe that there are several reasons, for example, unemployment, overpopulation etc. , which attribute to this trend. However, there exist some solutions to this issue. Firstly, the major reason for greater lawlessness in the urban areas is overpopulation. Many people migrate from nearby towns, villages etc. , in search of better jobs and to earn well. This increases the population to the extreme levels, which creates a pressure on the economy and resources of the city. In addition, unemployment shoots because of it. Therefore, many people feel pressured to earn money and end up following the wrong path. As an example, multiple studies on human behaviour show that it is very unlikely for an employed person to be a criminal. On the contrary, we have a nearly low misconduct rate in the country zones and that is because of the satisfaction which villagers have in the life. For instance, a survey of the economic times reveals that the villagers are quite satisfied with their lives. They believe in simple living. This contentment towards life reduces the offensive behaviour in the people. The most effective solution to reduce the misconduct is that the administration must put their efforts to enhance the basic welfare facilities and employment in the villages. It would decrease the rate of migration from villages to cities. Hence, there will be a decline in the percentage of population growth, which in turn will lead to better management of resources in the urban areas. As people will be more satisfied with their life, there will be a decrease in crimes. In addition, the government must hire more police officers in the cities to keep a check on the misconduct. There could be more patrols by the officers, so that anyone committing an offensive action could be caught and punished according to law. To conclude, the unsatisfactory and stressful city life are some of the factors, accounted for a greater number of crimes in the cities as compared to the villages. The government must try to create more job opportunities in the villages to reduce the overall lawlessness, and this will benefit the village economy also.
Most of the countries are experiencing a tremendous increase in the crime rate in bigger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
as compared to the countryside. I believe that there are several reasons,
for example
, unemployment, overpopulation etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
which attribute to this trend.
However
, there exist
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions to this issue.

Firstly
, the major reason for greater lawlessness in the urban areas is overpopulation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
migrate from nearby towns,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
in search of better jobs and to earn well. This increases the population to the extreme levels, which creates a pressure on the economy and resources of the city.
In addition
, unemployment shoots
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of it.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel pressured to earn money and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up following the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
path. As an example, multiple studies on human
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
unlikely for an employed person to be a criminal.

On the contrary
, we have a
nearly
low misconduct rate in the country zones and
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the satisfaction which villagers have in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For instance
, a survey of the economic times reveals that the villagers are quite satisfied with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. They believe in simple living. This contentment towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the offensive
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

The most effective solution to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the misconduct is that the administration
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
put their efforts to enhance the basic welfare facilities and employment in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
. It would decrease the rate of migration from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Hence
, there will be a decline in the percentage of population growth, which in turn will lead to better management of resources in the urban areas. As
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will be more satisfied with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, there will be a decrease in crimes.
In addition
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
hire more police officers in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
on the misconduct. There could be more patrols by the officers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that anyone committing an offensive action could
be caught
and punished according to law.

To conclude
, the unsatisfactory and stressful city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
factors, accounted for a greater number of crimes in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
as compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
try to create more job opportunities in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
overall
lawlessness, and this will benefit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
economy
also
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay EDUCATION-Describe your education. -What kind of school did you go to as a child? -Did you go to a co-educational school? -What was your favorite subject as a child? -Who was your favorite teacher? -What is the education system like in your country? -Do you v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
378 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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