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What is the most important natural resource in your hometown and why? Give reasons and examples to explain why that natural resource is more important than others. v.1

What is the most important natural resource in your hometown and why? Give reasons and examples to explain why that natural resource is more important than others. v. 1
The main problematic factor nowadays, is assumed to be the loss of certain plant and animal diversities by some, while others believe there are many more significant issues to be concerned about. The following essay will be discussing both views. On one hand, currently due to selfish and careless behaviour of humans, a large number of wildlife and plants are nearing extinction. For example, in South Africa, lions and many other animals are bred in farms for the sake of trophy hunting or in other words, to be killed for entertainment and thus there is a high risk of these species being extinct in the near future. Another reason is the negligence of people camping in the woods since they rarely put out campfires properly, which is often the main reason for forest fires and the destruction of most wildlife habitats. However, on the other hand, compared to the loss of wildlife and plant species, there are much more concerning issues such as pollution and the depletion of the Ozone layer. Sources of pollution are many, with industries and factories established by man being the main factor. These industries often dispose their wastes into the seas or oceans for convenience, which creates a threat to sea creatures and their habitats. For instance, a whale being washed ashore, that had died due to suffocation by a large plastic ring around its neck. Furthermore, these factories produce poisonous emissions while manufacturing products and moreover contributes to the reduction of the Ozone layer. Ozone deficiency increases the amount of UV radiation reaching the Earth’s surface and causes global warming and health problems such as skin and eye irritation. In conclusion, although the extinction of animal and plant species is a conundrum, but in my opinion, I believe that there are much more contrasting issues to worry about like the loss of the Ozone layer protecting the Earth from dangerous UV radiation and pollution which could pose a larger threat in the future.
The main problematic factor nowadays,
is assumed
to be the loss of certain
plant
and animal diversities by
some
, while others believe there are
many
more significant issues to
be concerned
about. The following essay will be discussing both views.

On one hand,
currently
due to selfish and careless
behaviour
of humans,
a large number of
wildlife and
plants
are nearing extinction.
For example
, in South Africa, lions and
many
other
animals
are bred
in farms for the sake of trophy hunting or in
other
words, to
be killed
for entertainment and
thus
there is a high
risk
of these species being extinct in the near future. Another reason is the negligence of
people
camping in the woods since they rarely put out campfires
properly
, which is
often
the main reason for forest fires and the destruction of most wildlife habitats.

However
, on the
other
hand, compared to the loss of wildlife and
plant
species, there are much more concerning issues such as pollution and the depletion of the Ozone layer. Sources of pollution are
many
, with industries and factories established by
man
being the main factor. These industries
often
dispose their wastes into the seas or oceans for convenience, which creates a threat to sea creatures and their habitats.
For instance
, a whale
being washed
ashore, that had
died
due to suffocation by a large plastic ring around its neck.
Furthermore
, these factories produce poisonous emissions while manufacturing products and
moreover
contributes to the reduction of the Ozone layer. Ozone deficiency increases the amount of UV radiation reaching the Earth’s surface and causes global warming and health problems such as skin and eye irritation.

In conclusion
, although the extinction of animal and
plant
species is a conundrum,
but
in my opinion, I believe that there are much more contrasting issues to worry about like the loss of the Ozone layer protecting the Earth from
dangerous
UV radiation and pollution which could pose a larger threat in the future.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay What is the most important natural resource in your hometown and why? Give reasons and examples to explain why that natural resource is more important than others. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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