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Nowadays, international travel has influenced travellers and nations. Do you think the problems of international travel outweigh the advantages? v.1

Nowadays, international travel has influenced travellers and nations. Do you think the problems of international travel outweigh the advantages? v. 1
Although it is thought by some that tourist should cultivate the lifestyle and moral stand of a community, while others believe that visited country ought to accept another culture by the visitors. As well as giving my personal opinion, this essay will discuss why a local government custom and behaviour should be extended, retained, and conversely, the benefits of embracing the other arts. On one hand, culture and behavioural activities are the core of a land, I in another for it not to go into extinction, it should be retained. More specifically, for people visiting. Continuous practicing of these norms would develop the social culture of that community. What is more, generations to come would know the value, and acts of their background. In Africa, for example, respect is a key value and it cannot be traded for anything. Therefore, this attitude would allow the continuation of such activity. Welcoming another culture, on the other hand, is often believed to improve the growth of an economy. Allowing other perception and background would bring about exposure, because the knowledge and ideas visitors without disparity would be used to establish, correct and modify theirs to become a standard. Not only would their standard of living, but also their economic growth would increase, since new ideas are always generated and put in place. For instance, Nigeria today was reported by international data analysis to be among the world best, simply because of her flexibility to another culture. Whereby, her economy grown vastly. To sum up, while people may vary in their opinion, I, from my point of view, then embracing another culture and behaviour would bolster the economy.
Although it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that tourist should cultivate the lifestyle and moral stand of a community, while others believe that visited country ought to accept another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
by the visitors.
As well
as giving my personal opinion, this essay will discuss why a local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
custom and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
should
be extended
, retained, and
conversely
, the benefits of embracing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
arts.

On one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
activities are the core of a land, I in another for it not to go into extinction, it should
be retained
. More
specifically
, for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visiting. Continuous practicing of these norms would develop the social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of that community.
What is more
, generations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
would know the value, and acts of their background. In Africa,
for example
, respect is a key value and it cannot
be traded
for anything.
Therefore
, this attitude would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the continuation of such activity.

Welcoming another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the growth of an economy. Allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
perception and background would bring about exposure,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
visitors without disparity would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to establish, correct and modify theirs to become a standard. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
would their standard of living,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
their economic growth would increase, since new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
are always generated and put in place.
For instance
, Nigeria
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
was reported
by international data analysis to be among the world best,
simply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of her flexibility to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. Whereby, her economy grown
vastly
.

To sum up, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may vary in their opinion, I, from my point of view, then embracing another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
would bolster the economy.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, international travel has influenced travellers and nations. Do you think the problems of international travel outweigh the advantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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