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What do you consider to be the most important room in a house? Why is this room more important to you than any other room? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v.2

What do you consider to be the most important room in a house? Why is this room more important to you than any other room? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 2
It is an irrefutable fact that chemicals such as flavour enhancers, preservatives, artificial colours and various stabilizers are added to convenient meals. Although there are certain advantages to this practice such as increase in the life of a product and enhancement of taste, the main drawbacks are that it has harmful effects in the long run and these chemicals make a person addicted to these foods. In my opinion, the disadvantages of these chemicals outweigh the advantages they offer. Admittedly, there are some basic benefits to using these chemicals in the food. The first one is that it helps to increase the shelf-life of a product. This is because generally the life of the food is short and this makes them easily perishable. In order to tackle this issue, the manufacturers add these chemicals. For example, at least 98% of the processed food contains preservatives to add life and freshness to the product. Another advantage is that it enhances the taste and flavour of the food. In other words, these chemicals make the food more delicious regardless of their impact on one’s health and as a result, companies make a lot of profit. Despite the advantages above, I believe that there are some serious drawbacks to this trend. One potential issue is that these chemicals have a long lasting impact on one’s health. This is because they can cause serious health ailments such as cardiac issues, cancer and may also damage the central nervous system. Another disadvantage is that these chemicals are addictive in nature. This encourages a person to eat these foods very often and thereby increases the chances of these health ailments. In conclusion, the serious health consequences of preservatives far outweigh the mere benefits of longer shelf-life and taste enhancement. Hence, it is recommended to eat home cooked meal to stay healthy.
It is an irrefutable fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
such as
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavour' is British English.
flavour
enhancers, preservatives, artificial
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
and various stabilizers are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to convenient meals. Although there are certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
to this practice such as increase in the life of a product and enhancement of taste, the main drawbacks are that it has harmful effects in the long run and these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a person addicted to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. In my opinion, the disadvantages of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
outweigh the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
they offer.

Admittedly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic benefits to using these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. The
first
one is that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to increase the shelf-life of a product. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
generally
the life of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is short and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them
easily
perishable. In order to tackle this issue, the manufacturers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
.
For example
, at least 98% of the processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
contains preservatives to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
life and freshness to the product. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantage
is that it enhances the taste and
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavour' is British English.
flavour
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
In other words
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
more delicious regardless of their impact on one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
as a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
profit.

Despite the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
above, I believe that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious drawbacks to this trend. One potential issue is that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
have a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
long lasting
impact on one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can cause serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
ailments such as cardiac issues, cancer and may
also
damage the central nervous system. Another disadvantage is that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
are addictive in nature. This encourages a person to eat these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
and thereby increases the chances of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
ailments.

In conclusion
, the serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
consequences of preservatives far outweigh the mere benefits of longer shelf-life and taste enhancement.
Hence
, it
is recommended
to eat home cooked meal to stay healthy.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
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IELTS essay What do you consider to be the most important room in a house? Why is this room more important to you than any other room? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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