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What difficulties will your country face in the next ten years. How can these problems be overcome? v.1

What difficulties will your country face in the next ten years. How can these problems be overcome? v. 1
Nowadays human beings are struggling with the number of problems. Many countries announce different-different policies to secure the future of the country. Everyone knows that if these problems are not solved, then it will lead to the destruction of the country. In the following paragraph I would discuss some problems that require satisfactory solutions for the better future. To begin with, In the next ten years, the major problem that will faced by the country is a low level of the economy, which leads to other problems, for example population is increasing day by day, due to low economy government will not be able to feed all the people of the country. Further, it may become the reason of poverty among the citizens of that particular country. Adding to this, unemployment might also increase in upcoming years because competition level is increasing every second. In a country like India to get a job in reputed companies not a easy task. So after ten years, unemployment could reach up to another level. Similarly, in the next decade, the problem of traffic will also increase, this thing is a directly related to the population. Due to increased number of vehicles the availability of petrol in everyone's vehicle will be not so common. Furthermore, as a result of migration, disputes might occur in different communities which may even lead to civil war. However, these problems can be overcome in a simpler way, that is education, if the citizens of the country are educated and they know about the difficulties which people are facing these days then maybe they are able to solve the problems at their own level. For example, if local people help the government to visualise the effect of industries, then in future, we might not face the severely bad environmental problems. In conclusion, at present, people are facing problems in every aspect of their life. This is a matter of concern. In this case, education act as important weapon for all problems among the people.
Nowadays human beings are struggling with the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
announce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
policies to secure the future of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Everyone knows that if these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are not solved, then it will lead to the destruction of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. In the following paragraph I would discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that require satisfactory solutions for the better future.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, In the
next
ten years, the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
that will faced by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is a low level of the economy, which leads to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
,
for example
population is increasing day by day, due to low economy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will not be able to feed all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Further
, it may become the reason of poverty among the citizens of that particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Adding to this, unemployment might
also
increase in upcoming years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
competition level is increasing every second. In a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
like India to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job in reputed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
not
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
easy task.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
after ten years, unemployment could reach up to another level.

Similarly
, in the
next
decade, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of traffic will
also
increase, this thing is a
directly
related to the population. Due to increased number of vehicles the availability of petrol in everyone's vehicle will be not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
common.
Furthermore
,
as a result
of migration, disputes might occur in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
communities which may even lead to civil war.

However
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
can
be overcome
in a simpler way,
that is
education, if the citizens of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
educated and
they know about the difficulties which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are facing these days then maybe they are able to solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
level.
For example
, if local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'visualise' is British English.
visualise
the effect of industries, then
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
, we might not face the
severely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
environmental problems.

In conclusion
, at present,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are facing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in every aspect of their life. This is a matter of concern.
In this case
, education act as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
weapon for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay What difficulties will your country face in the next ten years. How can these problems be overcome? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
335 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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