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What are the tasks of universities to offer student knowledge and skills essential for their future career or to provide students with access to knowledge itself What do you think university education should contain v.1

What are the tasks of universities to offer student knowledge and skills essential for their future career or to provide students with access to knowledge itself What do you think university education should contain v. 1
Universities around the world are facing the problem of how to efficiently use their resource to serve a larger population of students that are more culturally and socially diversified. To solve the problem, universities should perfectly aware of their main tasks: providing students with easy access to knowledge and, at the same time, encouraging them to make active contributions to the advancement of human knowledge. Universities should, first of all, be learning communities where knowledge not only disseminated but also advanced. As full-fledged members of this community, students should not be information recipients who learn the knowledge in a passive way. Instead, they should be challenged to achieve their potential and, indeed, to excel. Therefore, rather than focus merely on knowledge dissemination and transfer, universities should contrive to provide learning conditions that encourage students to remain curious, to value diversity in opinions and perspectives, and to think critically and communicate effectively. In this way, students can gain problem-solving experience and confidence. Furthermore, universities will never attain their goals if they tailor all their courses or programs to meet the needs of specific employers or occupational sectors. Today’s social environment is more dynamic and turbulent than ever before. Only those graduates who possess certain personality traits and can do well in diversified situations can distinguish themselves from other job applicants In short, in order to fulfill the main tasks of universities, university education should contain ample opportunities for independent learning which can cultivate students who are more likely to adapt to the changing society. Students can also learn to exercise their autonomy more effectively, and they may clarify their own professional interests while learning in an independent way.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
around the world are facing the problem of how to
efficiently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their resource to serve a larger population of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
that are more
culturally
and
socially
diversified. To solve the problem,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should
perfectly
aware of their main tasks: providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with easy access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and, at the same time, encouraging them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
active contributions to the advancement of human knowledge.

Universities should,
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
first of all
, be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
communities where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
disseminated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
advanced. As full-fledged members of this community,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should not be information recipients who learn the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
Consider replacing "in a passive way" with the adverb for "passive"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a passive way
.
Instead
, they should
be challenged
to achieve their potential and,
indeed
, to excel.
Therefore
,
rather
than focus
merely
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
dissemination and transfer,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should contrive to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
conditions that encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to remain curious, to value diversity in opinions and perspectives, and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
critically
and communicate
effectively
. In this way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can gain problem-solving experience and confidence.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
will never attain their goals if they tailor all their courses or programs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the needs of specific employers or occupational sectors.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
’s social environment is more dynamic and turbulent than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
those graduates who possess certain personality traits and can do well in diversified situations can distinguish themselves from other job
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
applicants


In short, in order to fulfill the main tasks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
education should contain ample opportunities for independent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
which can cultivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who are more likely to adapt to the changing society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
can
also
learn to exercise their autonomy more
effectively
, and they may clarify their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
professional interests while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
Consider replacing "in an independent way" with the adverb for "independent"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an independent way
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay What are the tasks of universities to offer student knowledge and skills essential for their future career or to provide students with access to knowledge itself What do you think university education should contain v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
277 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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