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some peole think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace in the future. Others think that the true function of a university is to provide access to knowledge for its own sake v.1

some peole think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace in the future. Others think that the true function of a university is to provide access to knowledge for its own sake v. 1
Many individuals affirm that the only purpose about to know how to speak in another language is when someone wants to go to another country for working or even travelling. However, another group of people affirms that there are different purposes, why someone should know how to speak another language? I believe that learning a foreign language might be more benefits than only get a job and travel abroad. This essay will discuss both views. First of all, when someone wants to go abroad is crucial to learn the language from that country. It will help this person feeling more confident about herself, and to diminish the impact about a specific culture. Moreover, travelling and working also will be easier than if this person do not know how to communicate properly with people of this new place. Although speaking in another language is always important, it could be more beneficial than only go abroad. Secondly, communicate in another language, would aid people to be creative with this ability and think out the box. In addition, communicating in another language may open mind, to see the world in a different perspective. For example, recently I have been reading a magazine that showed a search about a new business from homes, which anyone could teach language through the internet and helps others to make friends without go abroad. As a result, the opportunity to be an owner comes through the language. In conclusion, there are a variety of possibilities when a person has the ability to speak in another language, aside from travelling and working. Personally, I believe that speak another language helps opening doors, and facilitates to become successful and achieve goals from everywhere.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individuals affirm that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
purpose about to know how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speak
in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is when someone wants to go to another country for working or even travelling.
However
, another group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
affirms that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
purposes, why someone should know how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speak
another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
? I believe that learning a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
might be more benefits than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job and travel abroad. This essay will discuss both views.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, when someone wants to go abroad is crucial to learn the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
from that country. It will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
this person feeling more confident about herself, and to diminish the impact about a specific culture.
Moreover
, travelling and working
also
will be easier than if
The verb 'do' is plural. Did you mean: "this person does"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this person do
not know how to communicate
properly
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of this new place. Although speaking in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, it could be more beneficial than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
go abroad.

Secondly
, communicate in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, would aid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to be creative with this ability and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
out the box.
In addition
, communicating in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
may open mind, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the world in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspective.
For example
, recently I have been reading a magazine that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a search about a new business from homes, which anyone could teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
through the internet and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
others to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends without go abroad.
As a result
, the opportunity to be an owner
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
through the language.

In conclusion
, there are a variety of possibilities when a person has the ability to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speak
in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, aside from travelling and working.
Personally
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speak
another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
The verb 'helps' is used with an infinitive: "to open" or "open".
opening
doors, and facilitates to become successful and achieve goals from everywhere.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay some peole think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace in the future. Others think that the true function of a university is to provide access to knowledge for its own sake v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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