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CHILDREN TODAY SPEND MORE TIME WATCHING TELEVISION THAN THEY DID IN THE PAST. DESCRIBE SOME OF THE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF TELEVISION FOR TELEVISION. v.8

CHILDREN TODAY SPEND MORE TIME WATCHING TELEVISION THAN THEY DID IN THE PAST. DESCRIBE SOME OF THE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF TELEVISION FOR TELEVISION. v. 8
NO ONE WOULD DENY THAT CHILDREN OF THESE DAYS ARE MORE ENGAGED IN WATCHING TELEVISION THAN THEIR COUNTERPARTS FROM DECADES AGO. ALTHOUGH THERE ARE BENEFITS OF WATCHING TELEVISION FOR CHILDREN, THESE DO NOT COME WITHOUT SOME DRAWBACKS. UNDOUBTEDLY, THERE ARE A WIDE RANGE OF ADVANTAGES OF TELEVISION FOR CHILDREN. FIRST AND FOREMOST, WATCHING TV BROADENS THE YOUNG ONES' KNOWLEDGE ABOUT THE WORLD. THAT IS TO SAY THAT THROUGH TV PROGRAMS SUCH AS DISNEY WORLD AND NICKELODEON, CHILDREN GET TO LEARN DIFFERENT CULTURES OF PEOPLE ALL OVER THE WORLD. SECONDLY, WATCHING TELEVISION REINFORCES SKILLS SUCH AS TEAMWORK, COMMUNICATION, CONFIDENCE AND INTERPERSONAL SKILLS IN CHILDREN. FOR EXAMPLE, A RECENT SURVEY BY YORK DALE UNIVERSITY FOUND THAT 87% OF PARENTS REPORTED A TREMENDOUS IMPROVEMENT IN THEIR CHILDREN'S CONFIDENCE AND COMMUNICATION SKILL AFTER SIX MONTHS OF EXPOSURE TO TV PROGRAMS. DESPITE THE BENEFITS ASSOCIATED WITH WATCHING TV, THERE ARE SOME DISADVANTAGES TO THIS. THE MAIN DRAWBACK THAT IS RELATED TO WATCHING TV IN KIDS IS POOR READING HABIT AND UNHEALTHY LIFESTYLE. IN OTHER WORDS, A SIGNIFICANT NUMBER OF CHILDREN PREFER TO SIT IN FRONT OF THE SCREENS ALL DAY THAN READ THEIR BOOKS OR EXERCISE. AS A RESULT, THIS HAS DRASTICALLY REDUCED THE READING CULTURE AND INCREASED THE RATE OF OBESITY AMONG CHILDREN. A GOOD ILLUSTRATION IS THE RECENT FINDING BY LONDON SCHOOL OF HYGIENE AND TROPICAL MEDICINE WHICH STATES THAT 69% OF CHILDREN WHO SPEND MORE THAN 3 HOURS WATCHING TV IS MORE PRONE TO OBESITY AND OTHER INFLAMMATORY DISEASES. IN CONCLUSION, WHILE WATCHING TELEVISION IS ADVANTAGEOUS FOR CHILDREN, IT ALSO COMES WITH SOME DISADVANTAGES. PARENTS SHOULD DO MORE TO MONITOR AND SUPERVISE THE TIME AND CONTENT OF WHAT THEIR CHILDREN ARE SEEING IN ORDER TO RAISE A RESPONSIBLE FUTURE GENERATION.
NO ONE WOULD DENY THAT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CHILDREN
OF THESE DAYS ARE MORE ENGAGED IN WATCHING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TELEVISION
THAN THEIR COUNTERPARTS FROM DECADES AGO. ALTHOUGH THERE ARE BENEFITS OF WATCHING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TELEVISION
FOR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CHILDREN
, THESE DO NOT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
COME
WITHOUT
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
DRAWBACKS.

UNDOUBTEDLY
, THERE ARE A WIDE RANGE OF ADVANTAGES OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TELEVISION
FOR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CHILDREN
.
FIRST
AND FOREMOST, WATCHING TV BROADENS THE YOUNG ONES' KNOWLEDGE ABOUT THE WORLD.
THAT IS
TO SAY THAT THROUGH TV PROGRAMS SUCH AS DISNEY WORLD AND NICKELODEON,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CHILDREN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GET
TO LEARN
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
DIFFERENT
CULTURES OF
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
ALL OVER THE WORLD.
SECONDLY
, WATCHING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TELEVISION
REINFORCES
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SKILLS
SUCH AS TEAMWORK, COMMUNICATION, CONFIDENCE AND INTERPERSONAL
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SKILLS
IN
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CHILDREN
.
FOR EXAMPLE
, A RECENT SURVEY BY YORK DALE UNIVERSITY FOUND THAT 87% OF PARENTS REPORTED A TREMENDOUS IMPROVEMENT IN THEIR CHILDREN'S CONFIDENCE AND COMMUNICATION
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SKILL
AFTER SIX MONTHS OF EXPOSURE TO TV PROGRAMS.

DESPITE THE BENEFITS ASSOCIATED WITH WATCHING TV, THERE ARE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
DISADVANTAGES TO THIS. THE MAIN DRAWBACK THAT
IS RELATED
TO WATCHING TV IN KIDS IS POOR READING HABIT AND UNHEALTHY LIFESTYLE.
IN OTHER WORDS
, A SIGNIFICANT NUMBER OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CHILDREN
PREFER TO SIT IN FRONT OF THE SCREENS ALL DAY THAN READ THEIR BOOKS OR EXERCISE.
AS A RESULT
, THIS HAS
DRASTICALLY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
REDUCED
THE READING CULTURE AND INCREASED THE RATE OF OBESITY AMONG
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CHILDREN
. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GOOD
ILLUSTRATION IS THE RECENT FINDING BY LONDON SCHOOL OF HYGIENE AND TROPICAL MEDICINE WHICH STATES THAT 69% OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CHILDREN
WHO SPEND MORE THAN 3 HOURS WATCHING TV IS MORE PRONE TO OBESITY AND OTHER INFLAMMATORY DISEASES.

IN CONCLUSION
, WHILE WATCHING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TELEVISION
IS ADVANTAGEOUS FOR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CHILDREN
, IT
ALSO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
COMES
WITH
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
DISADVANTAGES. PARENTS SHOULD DO MORE TO MONITOR AND SUPERVISE THE TIME AND CONTENT OF WHAT THEIR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CHILDREN
ARE SEEING IN ORDER TO RAISE A RESPONSIBLE FUTURE GENERATION.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay CHILDREN TODAY SPEND MORE TIME WATCHING TELEVISION THAN THEY DID IN THE PAST. DESCRIBE SOME OF THE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF TELEVISION FOR TELEVISION. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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