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Some people believe that television is a powerful educational tool. Other people believe that television is nothing more than mindless entertainment and should be discouraged. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Provide examples and supporting evidences to back up your opinion on this subject. v.2

Some people believe that television is a powerful educational tool. Other people believe that television is nothing more than mindless entertainment and should be discouraged. with this statement? Provide examples and supporting evidences to back up your opinion on this subject. v. 2
Television is a versatile form of media that presents us information from all around the world. Owing to this, many people seen it as an informative tool to provide education. Whereas, other believe that it promotes irrelevant and absurd content which is not entertaining at all. In my view, television is more than a source of entertainment; it can prove to be beneficial if used in a good way. There are several reasons why people consider it senseless form of entertainment is that there are many shows that are aired on some channels, whose sole purpose is to attract large number of viewers. In order to achieve this, they go beyond certain extent and broadcast ridiculous content. This type of content is not beneficial for children in any way. For instance, many reality shows include excess drama and comedy to attract more audience in order to increase their television rating point. Secondly, other learning methods can be adopted instead of a television. For example, a newspaper provides detailed information whereas news channels only broadcast brief information. By and large, it is evident from above arguments that television is not a viable media to acquire education information. On the other hand, Television offers a range of educational channels and that too are in multiple languages, which provides in-depth detail of any subject. Moreover, numerous quiz shows are telecast to enhances general knowledge of children. Discovery channel, for instance is best way to teach students about nature and animals which help them in their biology lessons. Another benefit of television in context to education is that being a digital medium, it displays visuals and animations in an appealing way so that children can retain and understand them in long term. For instance, by including smart classes in school curriculum helps students to learn any complex topic with the help of animation and cartoons to make it easier to understand. All in all, digital devices can help to develop interest of students by making it more alluring and easy. To conclude, it is true that some channels do not serve purpose of providing rich information to its viewers. But I disagree that it is mere idiot box, as, it can have multifarious beneficial to students when used as a learning tool.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
is a versatile form of media that presents us
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from all around the world. Owing to this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
it as an informative tool to provide education. Whereas, other believe that it promotes irrelevant and absurd content which is not entertaining at all. In my view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is more than a source of entertainment; it can prove to be beneficial if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way.

There are several reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider it senseless form of entertainment is that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
are aired
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
, whose sole purpose is to attract large number of viewers. In order to achieve this, they go beyond certain extent and broadcast ridiculous content. This type of content is not beneficial for children in any way.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
include excess drama and comedy to attract more audience in order to increase their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
rating point.
Secondly
, other learning methods can
be adopted
instead
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
.
For example
, a newspaper provides detailed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
whereas news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
broadcast brief
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. By and large, it is evident from above arguments that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is not a viable media to acquire education information.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
offers a range of educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
and that too are in multiple languages, which provides in-depth detail of any subject.
Moreover
, numerous quiz
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
are telecast to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "enhance".
enhances
general knowledge of children. Discovery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channel
,
for instance
A determiner is probably missing here: "is the best".
is best
way to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
about nature and animals which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them in their biology lessons. Another benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
in context to education is that being a digital medium, it displays visuals and animations
Consider replacing "in an appealing way" with the adverb for "appealing"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an appealing way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that children can retain and understand them in long term.
For instance
, by including smart classes in school curriculum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to learn any complex topic with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of animation and cartoons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it easier to understand. All in all, digital devices can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to develop interest of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
by making it more alluring and easy.

To conclude
, it is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
do not serve purpose of providing rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to its viewers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I disagree that it
Please check whether an article is missing: "is a mere" or "is an mere"
is mere
idiot box, as, it can have multifarious beneficial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a learning tool.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that television is a powerful educational tool. Other people believe that television is nothing more than mindless entertainment and should be discouraged. with this statement? Provide examples and supporting evidences to back up your opinion on this subject. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
378 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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