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What are some important qualities of a good politician (president, prime minister, or elected government official)? Use details and examples to support your explanation. v.1

What are some important qualities of a good politician (president, prime minister, or elected government official)? Use details and examples to support your explanation. v. 1
People have differing views with regard to academy aging. While some individuals believe that primary schools should get started before the age of 7, I tend towards the viewpoint that it might be considered beneficial for children to start school later in their lives. There are various reasons why some people claim that schoolboys and girls should start schooling later in life. They assert that children under the age of 7 are not prepared to enter the school to learn and achieve their full potential. In other words, the would have accurate and growing perception after 7, and consequently, difficult subjects can be learned faster. Besides that, it always declared that kids until the age of 7 should tremendously enjoy their childhoods and they should be allowed to learn and discover their surrounding areas unconsciously and freely, without any district discipline. In spite of these arguments, I believe that adolescents should not be forced to start school soon. Recent research has shown that the human brain will become advanced and developed after 7 years old. So, it will become much easier and faster for them to schooling after this age, as their mental preparation has been improved. Moreover, the first and only duty and concern of children at this age are playing. If they are forced to leave the playground and sit on institute tables to start school, it may lead to hatred from education. In conclusion, although some people face the dilemma of whether schooling should be started before 7 years old or after that, I believe that a 7-year-old child is much more prepared for training, both mentally and physically.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have differing views with regard to academy aging. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals believe that primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 7, I tend towards the viewpoint that it might
be considered
beneficial for children to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
later in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

There are various reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that schoolboys and girls should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
schooling later in life. They assert that children under the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 7 are not prepared to enter the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to learn and achieve their full potential.
In other words
,
Did you mean "they", "that" or "there"?
the
would have accurate and growing perception after 7, and
consequently
, difficult subjects can
be learned
faster.
Besides
that, it always declared that kids until the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 7 should
tremendously
enjoy their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
childhoods and
they should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to learn and discover their surrounding areas
unconsciously
and
freely
, without any district discipline.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
these arguments, I believe that adolescents should not
be forced
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
. Recent research has shown that the human brain will become advanced and developed after 7 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it will become much easier and faster for them to schooling after this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, as their mental preparation has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
.
Moreover
, the
first
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
duty and concern of children at this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
are playing. If they
are forced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the playground and sit on institute tables to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, it may lead to hatred from education.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
face the dilemma of whether schooling should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
7 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
or after that, I believe that a 7-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
child is much more prepared for training, both mentally and
physically
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay What are some important qualities of a good politician (president, prime minister, or elected government official)? Use details and examples to support your explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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