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New President Selected by BoardThe Board is pleased to announce the selection of the 23rd president of State University. Matt Tallent has been a part of the State community for years as a business owner and contributor to the university. He will succeed T v.1

New President Selected by BoardThe Board is pleased to announce the selection of the 23rd president of State University. Matt Tallent has been a part of the State community for years as a business owner and contributor to the university. He will succeed T v. 1
Day by day, in most countries the number of homeless people is increasing gradually. Some people argue that the state should create some programs to assist underprivileged citizens as they are incapable of achieving success. I think the government should assist the disadvantaged persons to a certain extent where they will be able to achieve success. Undoubtedly, it is the government responsibility to take care of underprivileged people of a country. However, if the state allocate monthly funds to the disadvantaged people, they will get used to enjoying the free funds and allocating such funds will affect negatively on the development of other sectors such as health, education and country's security. For a country to be stable and developed, the state has to consider budgeting funds to develop other sectors rather than allocating a monthly-doll to homeless. Nevertheless, the disadvantaged people should be looked after by the local government, since these people, mainly the homeless, do not have enough funds to get their life going. For instance, the authorities should look at the option of rehabilitation centres where these people should be taught a life skill, for them to start earning for themselves. Building high rise apartments are one option to provide shelter to the homeless. The government could utilise the workforce of the homeless to build such facilities. Furthermore, the unemployed crowd should be given opportunities to work in their respective fields by creating more jobs through foreign investments. In conclusion, I firmly believe that the disadvantaged people should be assisted by the state; however, to a certain extent. The long term plans such as learning centres and bringing more investments into the country certainly will assist in developing the economy.
Day by day, in most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homeless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is increasing
gradually
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
should create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
programs to assist underprivileged citizens as they are incapable of achieving success. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should assist the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disadvantaged
persons to a certain extent where they will be able to achieve success.

Undoubtedly
, it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
responsibility to take care of underprivileged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
However
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
allocate monthly funds to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disadvantaged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to enjoying the free funds and allocating such funds will affect
negatively
on the development of other sectors such as health, education and country's security. For a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to be stable and developed, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
consider budgeting funds to develop other sectors
rather
than allocating a monthly-doll to homeless.

Nevertheless
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disadvantaged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be looked
after by the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, since these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
mainly
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homeless
, do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
funds to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their life going.
For instance
, the authorities should look at the option of rehabilitation
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
where these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be taught
a life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
earning for themselves. Building high rise apartments are one option to provide shelter to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homeless
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
could
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
the workforce of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homeless
to build such facilities.
Furthermore
, the unemployed crowd should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
opportunities to work in their respective fields by creating more jobs through foreign investments.

In conclusion
, I
firmly
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disadvantaged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be assisted
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
;
however
, to a certain extent. The long term plans such as learning
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
and bringing more investments into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
certainly
will assist in developing the economy.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay New President Selected by BoardThe Board is pleased to announce the selection of the 23rd president of State University. Matt Tallent has been a part of the State community for years as a business owner and contributor to the university. He will succeed T v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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